Trascrizione in inglese dei dialoghi dell'episodio:

Deja vu all over again

Episodio: n. 22

quarta serie

(si ringrazia Xenamedia e Cristina Creek)

[TEASER]

Annie [Ann]: "It's all right, Gabrielle. I'm coming."

[[[[[[Callisto [Cal]: "Now, we determine who is the best. You and I in a fight till death. And to make things even more interesting-- take her up!" Theodorus [Theo]: "Take her up!" G: "Do something!" Joxer [Jox]: "What do you expect me to do?!" G: "Xena! Oh, this is really high." Cal: "Light it. Any time you're ready, Xena." Warriors' Voices: "All right!" "Yeah! Come on!" [Ladder Fight] G's Voice: "Come on, Xena! You're almost there!" Warrior's Voice: "She's yours!" G: "Xena!"]]]]]]

Ann [Sighs]: "Harry-- "

Harry [Har]: "Huh?"

Ann: "-- wake up."

Har: "All right."

Ann: "Harry!"

Har: "What?"

Ann: "I just had a vision-- an awakening. Self-revelation."

Har: "Don't forget about the pint 'a Haagen-Dazs and the bean burrito."

Ann: [Belches]

Har: "They'll just give you nightmares."

Ann: "This was not a nightmare, Harry. It was an epiphany. I was really there."

Har: "Where?"

Ann: "I had a past-life experience."

Har: "OK-- let me guess. You were, uh-- Susan B. Anthony."

Ann [Whispers]: "No."

Har: "Eleanor Roosevelt."

Ann [Whispers]: "No."

Har: "Queen Elizabeth?"

Ann [Whispers]: "No."

Har: "Um-- I give up."

Ann: "In a time of ancient gods-- I was Xena-- the warrior princess."

Har [Sighs]: "That does it. I'm cutting you off. No more-- internet chat rooms, and I'm-- dumping this thing."

Ann: "Get your hands off that, Harry."

Har: "OK. Have you totally lost your mind?"

Ann: "I'm warning ya, Harry, you don't know what you're dealing with! [Whispers] Read it. [Normal Voice] Read it. It came from yesterday's paper."

Har: "OK. Gonna-- just-- turn the light on."

Ann: "Come on, Harry. Hurry."

Har [Clears throat]: "`Vigilante strikes again. A woman dressed as Xena, Warrior Princess-- saved an elderly man from being mugged yesterday at the-- '"

Both: "`-- Mason Street mall. It's the third time in two weeks that the vigilante has struck.' What are you saying? That wa you?"

Ann: "I know it sounds crazy, and I have no memory of it, but look-- look-- see these marks on my sword? It's as if it's been used in battle, and the same with my chakram. I mean, how did they get there? Harry-- Harry, I think I've been doing these things-- on the nights when you're working late at the hospital."

Har: "Um-- it says here-- that the vigilante struck with-- `acrobatic athleticism.' Annie-- you need a rubdown after a game of croquet."

Ann: "Uh-- but-- when my body is taken over by my previous life spirit, Xena, Warrior Princess-- I clearly become a very dangerous woman."

Har: "And you actually believe this?"

Ann: "No-- I didn't until now. But that vision convinced me, I am the Xena vigilante."

Har [Sighs]: "Annie-- you need to get some help."

Ann: "Help-- I should see a counselor, huh?"

Har: "Wonderful idea-- I'm so relieved."

Ann: "A past-lives counselor."

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[ACT I]

Woman's Voice: "I should have shuffled these cards. There's an ace."

Ann: "And you said that dressing the part was silly. Well, these people don't seem to think it's silly at all."

Har: "Who could argue with them?"

Ann: "Hold that, wouldja, Honey?"

Har: "Mm-hmm-- Halloween party."

: "Oo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-om. Oo-o-o-o-o-o-o-om."

Ann: "Joan of Arc?"

Joan: "Hmm?"

Ann: "Xena-- of Amphipolis? [Sighs] I bet my sword's bigger 'n yours."

Har: "Who are you supposed to be? Hey-- pyramid boy-- what's with the costume? Hmm?"

[Laughs]: "We encourage our clients to dress according to what they sense-- was a-- previous life. It often helps them make important breakthroughs. Ye-e-e-e-es."

Ann: "Yeah, that's good Joan, yeah-- ya still got it."

Joan's Voice: "You are obviously a lover, not a fighter."

Ann: "Even rude for a Frenchwoman. `Saint'-- pffff!"

Har: "Oh, uh-- notice the doctor graduated from Buffalo Springs Medical Academy. "

: "It's a fully-accredited school, sir. Would you like to take a look at a menu? The doctor's running a bit late."

Har: "Oh, oh. Thank you. Thank you. Look-- menu. First-life experience. Most influent-- most sexually active. This is ridiculous!"

Ann: "What's the matter? You threatened by my old flames?"

Har: "What? Are you seri-- this place is a g-- look at this place!"

: "Ah-h-h-h-h-- he-e-e-e-ere she is."

G: "Sorry I kept you waiting-- Joan, new armor. Ah-h-h-h-h, looking sharp, George. Ah-h-h-h-- you must be Xena."

Ann: "Mm-hmm."

G: "Are you ready?"

Ann: "Absolutely."

Har: "Hey-- excuse me. Excuse me? Do you mind if I come in with you?"

Ann: "Harry, please."

G: "And you are?"

Har: "Annie's boyfriend-- "

G: "I'm sorry, but it's in Annie's best interest-- that her first past-life voyage be by herself."

Har: "First past-life voyage. OK."

Ann: "Thank you, doctor. Why do you have to be so mean all the time?"

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G's Voice: "There is a possibility-- that the Xena identity takes over Annie's-- "

G: "-- and in that state you roam the town as the Xena vigilante. But there's only one way to find out for sure. Shall we?"

Ann: "I'm ready."

G: "Close your eyes. Concentrate on your breath. Focus on each and every breath you take. I want you to feel it enter through your nostrils-- move through your diaphragm-- and release it out again. You've expressed interest in ancient Greece. We're going to send you back to that time-- back-- back-- back. Now-- on the count of ten-- I want you to-- find yourself-- in another place-- another time-- another body. One-- two-- three-- four-- five-- six-- seven-- eight-- "

[[[[[[G: "No-o-o-o-o-o! Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h! Hope!" X: "Ahhhhhhh!" Jox: "Gabrielle!" X: "Gabrie-e-e-e-elle!" G: "Xena-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a!]]]]]]

G: "It's OK, Annie. You're in your present body."

Ann: "Oh. I was there. Doctor, I was there. I saw Hope and Gabrielle fall into the pit. I experienced the whole thing. It broke my heart. I am Xena."

G: "Do you have any recollection of being the Xena vigilante?"

Ann: "Well-- I mean, there wa-there was something strange about it. Um-- "

G: "Go on. Tell me."

Ann: "Well, it wa-wasn't like I was inside my body-- it-- _her_ body-- it-- it was like I was outside watching."

G: "You didn't make a soul meld."

Ann: "Is that bad?"

G: "If you expect to become fully conscioius in this life-- of your past life as Xena, you _must_ meld your identity with Xena's. Let's try it again. Close your eyes."

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Har: "Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo! Weird. [Chuckles]"

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G: "Relax your body. One-- two-- three-- four-- five-- six-- seven-- eight-- "

[[[[[[Jox: "Don't worry. I cleared the place out for ya." X: "They're gone." G: "Are we going after `em?" X: "No, not in the darkness." Jox: "Right behind ya." X: "They won't get far. We'll camp here."]]]]]]

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Announcer's Voice: "She is back again. Two muggers were apprehended early this morning. Police have no idea who the Xena vigilante is-- but do theorize it's an overexuberant fan of the show. The vigilante last struck two nights ago. Although she has great support in the community-- police warn that it is never appropriate for citizens to take the law into their own hands. That's the local news. And now, for a check on our weather. Early-morning clouds [Etc.]-- "

Har: "OK-- that's it."

: "Don't go in there. I know you're anxious, but please sit down."

Har: "Look-- I'm gonna go in there-- I'm gonna get my girlfriend-- then we're gonna go home. OK?"

: "It could be very dangerous for you to interrupt the doctor during a past-lives session."

Har: "Listen to me-- you-- cheap-- dime-store-- three-for-a-dozen quack, you. Are you threatening me?"

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[[[[[[G: "I'll get the blankets." X: "Hmm." Jox: "Hello? Hel-lo-o-o-o-o!" X: "Calm down, Joxer-- we saw you." Jox: "Great-- you mean, you think you could let me down without dropping me flat on my face?" X: "No." Jox: [Screams]]]]]]]

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G: "What's the matter, Annie?"

Ann: "Ye gods, the horror."

G: "What happened?"

Ann: "I-- I-- "

G: "Say it."

Ann: "I was Joxer!" [Cries]

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[ACT II]

Ann: [Cries out]

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Har: "Hmm?"

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Har: "Annie!"

G: "She's OK!"

Har: "Annie-- what's the matter?"

Ann: "Oh, Harry-- "

[Whispers]: "What's going on?"

G: [Whispers]

Ann: "I went back there. [Whispers] I was Joxer. [Normal Voice] Oh, please, not Joxer. [Crying] That ass."

Har: "Mm-hmm-- . Doctor? [Whispers] Look at her! She looks devastated!"

Ann: "He's the comic relief."

G: "Clearly, she didn't expect to find out she's this Joxer person."

Har [Whispers]: "Would you knock off that crap?! You can get her to believe she's anybody you want!"

Ann: "They should never have introduced his character in the first place."

G: "I don't think you have a full understanding of guided imagery."

Har: "Guided imagery, my ass. It's hypnosis-- it didn't work-- now, _you_ go fix it."

Ann: "He's a deluded idiot."

G: "I don't like your tone, sir."

Har: "Oh, no? Well, how do you like the sound of a malpractice suit?"

Ann: "Wait a minute."

G and Har: "What?"

Ann: "You were there."

G: "Excuse me?"

Ann: "Oh, yeah-- I'm sure of it. You were there-- not-not you as-as the doctor; you as-- s-s-s-s-somebody else. I'm not sure who."

G: "It's common for patients to imagine their life-imagery guides-- "

Ann [Interrupts]: "I wasn't imagining it. You were there."

Har: "Of course you were, doctor. Now, you're gonna go over there-- and convince her she's not this-- whatever his name is."

G: "All right-- I could go back there to clarify her remembrance. Let's have a seat."

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G's Voice: "Close your eyes. Concentrate."

: "Get lost."

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G: "Good-- become your breath. Your breath is your spirit-- and it's your spirit that will take you to a pre- "

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G's Voice: "-- vious life."

: "I said, get lost, freak!"

[[[[[[Jox: "Meet-- Xena, the Warrior Princess-- and her sidekick-- Gabrielle!" A Man: "They're gonna defend our village?" X: "Yeah-- but we're gonna need a little help. Uh-- go to your houses and collect together all your-- your tools and-- your weapons." Jox: [Giggles idiotically] X: "Give Joxer a list of every able-bodied villager-- and secure the outhouse!" A Man: "The outhouse? Is that important?" X: "It is to me! Ahhhh! Get out of my way!"]]]]]]

Ann: [Gasps]

Har: "It's OK. Take it easy, Annie. The docor's gonna help you clarify your remembrance. Isn't that right-- doctor?"

Ann: "Was I Joxer, or not?"

G: "I'm gonna get you a sedative."

Ann: [Sobs]

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G: "Marco, something went wrong, just now."

Mar: "What?"

G: "OK, I went back with her to one of her previous lives, and-- I experienced something-- something very real."

Mar: "Self-hypnosis-- I told you that was a danger with this scam. You're gonna blow it."

G: "You don't understand. Uh-- it was like technicolor, you know? I mean, I-- I felt like I was really there."

Mar: "Ah, you're probably watching too many episodes."

G: "No, I don't watch that show-- bunch of chop-socky crap. Besides, this was so repulsive. It couldn't have been an episode."

Mar: "Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-- you never know with that show."

G: "No, the sights-- the sound-- "

Mar: "They're sneaky-- they'll try anything."

G: "That _smell_."

Mar: "One week, they're melodrama-- the next week, they're three stooges."

G: "Marco-- I'm telling you. For a moment there, _I_ believed it."

Mar: "And they're way too serialized."

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Har: "Annie-- Annie-- you let this quack convince you of something that just isn't true."

Ann: "Harry, if you were there, you'd believe it, too. It-it-- seemed so real."

Har [Whispers]: "OK [Normal Voice]-- all right, look-- I'm gonna _prove_ to you it isn't true."

G [Sighs]: "Annie-- here you go-- I'd like you to take these sedatives."

Har: "Doctor? I want you to send me back-- to whatever past-lives place-- you sent her."

G: "Well, that may not be possible. You may not have known Annie in a past life."

Har: "I see. That's-- that's very convenient. So, you don't want me to find out about your little past-lives scam. Is that it?"

Ann: "Yeah, Doc-- what are ya afraid of?"

Har: "Yeah-- "

G: "All right [Clears throat]-- to be honest, I'd like to experience it again, myself."

Har: "Mmm. Hmm."

G: "Let's all become our breaths. Close your eyes [Sighs]-- and breathe. On the count of ten, we'll find ourselves in another body. One-- two-- three-- four-- five-- six-- seven-- eight--- nine-- "

[[[[[[[Fight]]]]]]]

Har: "Oh. Uh."

Ann: "Harry-- what did you experience?"

Har: "Uh-- uh-- it was-- uh-- strange-- "

Ann: "Uh-huh-- but it's all buncombe, right? It's all the power of suggestion-- right?"

Har: "Uh-- it was, uh-- unusual. It was unusual."

Ann: "What are you saying? Harry?"

Har: "Annie-- maybe-- Joxer wasn't such a bad guy."

Ann: "Oh, God! Oh, God!" [Groans]

Har: "Look, uh-- "

G: "What is it? What, what?"

Har [Interrupts]: "-- none of us are thinkin' straight. Why don't we get outta here, OK?"

G: "Ah, that's a good idea. I think we've done all we can here. There's no charge."

Mar: "Nobody's going anywhere."

G: "Marco-- what are you doing?"

Mar: "We have some business to take care of."

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[ACT III]

Doc: "I don't get it. Marco, why are you doing this?"

Mar: "Let's just say I'm settling an old score."

Doc: "Look, if it's about the money, you can take it. I'm _through_ with this scam!"

Mar: "I plan to!"

Ann: "It's a scam. I knew I couldn't be Joxer."

Doc [Sighs] [Whispers]: "I can't believe it. [Normal Voice] What is that?"

Har: "It's a bomb."

Mar: "Very good!"

Doc: "A bomb? Why, Marco?"

Mar: "'Cause boiling oil's too difficult to rig in this day and age. Now-- ya got about ten minutes before this thing blows your heads off. Uh-- oh. Have a nice day."

Har: You, too."

Ann: "Don't worry-- I'm gonna get us out of this mess. Ow. Uh-h-h."

Doc: "This is a fine time to learn this reincarnation thing is for real. [Sighs] All this time-- I think that I'm running a harmless little scam-- when in fact-- I'm poisoning my karma."

Ann: "Don't worry, Harry-- it won't be long."

Doc: "Look, Marco taught me the hypnosis technique-- and-- I never thought I would hurt anyone. Now I'm resonsible for getting you two blown up. This is a-a karmic catastrophe. I'm gonna come back as a worm-- or-- a cockroach-- no-- a TV evangelist."

Har: "Mattie-- you might be able to redeem yourself. That technique of yours-- might be the key to getting us outta here."

Doc: "Really?"

Har: "Yeah. Look-- look at us. We're tied up with a time-bomb between our heads. It's like-- one of those ridiculous-- cliffhanger _act_ breaks on that show."

Ann: "I can't believe you're trashing Xena at a time like this."

Har: "Take us back, Mattie."

Doc: "You really think that will help."

Har: "Xena got out of this type 'a jam-- all the time. There's something she wants us to learn."

Ann [Sighs]: "I'm coming."

Doc [Whispers]: "OK. [Normal Voice] Relax."

Har [Whispers]: "OK. OK." [Exhales]

Ann: "Oh, not again."

Doc: "One-- two-- three-- four-- five-- six-- seven-- eight-- nine-- "

[[[[[[[Fight] Hope: "Nooooooo! Uh!" Destroyer: "Huh? Huh?! Mo-o-o-o-- "]]]]]]

Doc: "What the hell was that all about?!"

Har: "I don't know. You were Xena, right?"

Doc: "Yes."

Har: "OK. Uh-- then I must 'a been one of the two blondes."

Ann [Sighs]: "Would you listen to you two?! Who's deluded, now?! I didn't experience _anything_ that time. It's a scam! But don't worry-- I'll get us out of this mess."

Har: "Take us back, Mattie."

Doc: "OK. Relax. Become your breath-- and one-- two-- three-- four-- five-- six-- seven-- eight-- "

[[[[[[G: "Where is she?" Autolycus [A]: "I--I don't know. Stop that." "X": "I'm right here." A: "Oh, now she's back." "X": "Autolycus, I'm going to speak through you. Give me control." A: "No, wait-- we have an agreement. I have a right--" X-in-A: "Yes, Gabrielle, it's me. I want you to do something. Close your eyes. Close them tightly, and think of me." X: "Gabrielle. Gabrielle. It's me. I'm not dead." G: [Cries] "Xena." X: "At least, not completely." G: "Why? Why did you leave? There's so many things I want to say to you." X: "Gabrielle-- you don't have to say a word." G: "Xena, I can't lose you again." X: "Gabrielle, I'll always be here."]]]]]]

Doc: "That was, um-- confusing."

Har: "Yeah. Uh-- maybe I was the-- guy with the mustache."

Doc: "Botchculus or-- something?"

Har: "Yeah."

Ann: "Autolycus-- and you've both lost what's left of your spongy minds. Right-- I'm going to take these wires that lead to the bomb. I'm going to cut them with my teeth."

Har: "No, you're not, Annie."

Doc: "You're going to disarm the bomb with your teeth."

Har: "It's dangerous."

Ann: "I'm afraid I've got to, Little Missy."

Har: "Annie-- I'm begging you."

Ann: "And Harry, I'm sick of you. It's always-- `Don't do this'-- and `Don't do that'-- and `Don't do'-- "

Har: "Uh!"

Ann: "Ouch."

Har: "I'm sorry, Sweethart-- I couldn't let you chew on those wires."

Doc: "No doubt who _she_ was."

Har: "We just got a couple minutes left. Take us back."

Doc: "OK, we'll try again. One-- two-- three-- four-- five-- six-- seven-- eight-- nine-- "

[[[[[[Jox: "I'm coming, Xena!" [Fight ensues throughout] Callisto [Cal]: "What could you possibly have been thinking?" Jox: "I'm here to save my friends." Warriors: "That's all it'll take." "She's escaping!" " Don't just stand there, get her!" ]]]]]]

Ann: "I _was_ Joxer."

Doc: "I was the sidekick."

Har: "I know who the Xena vigilante is."

Ann: "How can you be Xena? You can't even stay awake during the teaser."

Doc: "Have you done this before?"

Har: "No-- but I have many skills."

Doc: "It's the red wires."

Har: "No-- blue." [Sighs]

Mar: "Very good. You still haven't lost it-- Xena."

Har: "And you're as evil as ever-- Ares."

Mar: [Laughs] [Morphs into Ares]

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[ACT IV]

Ares: "Sorry to put you through all this-- but I had to be sure. I knew if I challenged you-- gave you every opportunity to visit your life back then-- you'd regain your old identity."

Har: "Mm-hmm. What do you want-- Ares?"

Ares: "What I want-- is what I've always wanted-- you. And this is the big opportunity, Xena. We are on the verge."

Har: "Verge of what?"

Ares: "January the 1st, 2000. The world's gonna be dying for someone to take charge-- and that is where you-- and I come in."

Har: "What are you talking about?"

Ares: "Y-- 2-- K. The world is gonna be in a state of chaos. It's a little something I came up with when I got out of the tomb-- you left me in? In a world that no longer-- worships me, I had to get creative. But now-- I've got it-- and there's nothing-- you can do to stop it. I _do_, however, need some human help. So-- my choice, as always-- was you. I guess I'm just a sentimental kind 'a guy-- remember."

[[[[[[X: "What do you want?" TWO SHOT Ares takes out a beautiful robe from the wardrobe. Ares: "I want you back, of course. ( gestures around ) My warrior princess living as my warrior queen. We were once a great match." X: "I didn't know any better then. I thought your ways were all there was for me." Ares gently drapes the robe across Xena's shoulders. Ares: "I think you'll be more comfortable in this. ( beat ) Now that you do know-- there is another side to life-- now tell me-- are you really having more fun these days?" X: "I'm fighting for a better world." Ares: "My dear Xena, you were always fighting for a better world. You were going to conquer it-- and then-- you were going to rule it-- "]]]]]]

Ares [Laughs]: "Same argument-- same card to play. So-- how about it, Xena?"

Har: "Not a chance, Ares."

Ares: "Oh, come on. You can't still be holding a grudge after all these years."

Har: "It's not a grudge. It's the difference between right and wrong-- good and evil-- you just never learned that lesson."

Ares: "Are we gonna fight again?"

Har: "Bring it on."

Ares: "Ha-ha!"

[Fight]

Ann: "Come on. Come on."

Ares: "Yeah-- oh-h-h-h-h-h-h! Oh! Ow! OK! No! Time! That's it! I'm done!"

Ann: "I decked the god of war."

Ares: "You tend to lose a little bit of your edge when you haven't been worshipped in a while."

Har: "You're breakin' my heart."

Ares: "Yeah, well don't worry about it. I'm still immortal. You're not gonna get rid 'a me. You know? I think I knew it was gonna work out this way."

Har: "So, why'd ya come back for me?"

Ares: "Like I said-- I'm a sentimental guy."

Har: "Hmm."

Doc: "Harry."

Ann: "Yeah, and you _better_ disappear! [Softly] Great big hunk of god."

Har: "Here-- let me get that. Annie-- Annie, I, um-- "

Ann: "Harry-- I got some bad news for ya. You and I aren't made for each other. She's your soulmate."

Har: "My soulmate?"

Ann: "If you could just stay awake through one episode, you'd know these things. You see-- "

[[[[[[G: "I know that I'm going to die-- I accept that. Why can't you? A long time ago, I accepted the consequences of our life together-- that it might one day come to this. I'm not afraid." X: "You always said that I was the brave one. Look at you now. If this is to be our destiny, let's see it out together. Even in death, Gabrielle-- I will never leave you."
]]]]]]

Ann: "I'll leave you two to get reacquainted. And another thing-- I went back when Callisto had you two tied up-- and you know what? Joxer saved your butts. I saw it from his point of view, and you would _never_ have gotten that chakram if he hadn't come in when he did. He had the heart of a lion, and a really, really big one, too."

Har: "You're right, Annie."

Ann: "And he was a very underrated fighter. Well-- goodbye. Oh, um-- Harry-- I've been aware for some time that you've been going into my underwear drawer at night and, um-- it's nice to know it was in a good cause."

Har: "Thanks-- I guess."

Doc: "Harry-- it's funny. I do feel strangely attached to you."

Har: "What do you remember?"

Doc: "I think I remember--when we first met."

G's Voice: "Xena-- life is eternal. It has no beginning and no end. The loving friends we meet on our journey-- return to us-- time after time. We never die-- because we were never really born."

G: "It's been a long time."

Har: "It's been too long-- friend."

Ann [Sings]: "Annie Banannie--
She kicks fanny.
Dangerous with sword and knife--
Learned her skills in that past life.

"Never will you outfox her.
She's as good as ol' Joxer.
[Sighs] I'm Annie-- I'm Annie the Migh-h-h-h-h-hty!

"You should just meet her.
They don't come any sweeter!"

[Speaks]: You know, I could be Xena in my _next_ life."