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Trascrizione
in inglese dei dialoghi dell'episodio: quinta serie (si ringrazia Xenamedia e Cristina Creek) [TEASER] G's Voiceover:
"`It was the kind of night where you could feel Aphrodite [Aph]: "Boo!" G: "Aphrodite?" Aph: "Can't sleep, huh?" G: "You _scared_ me." Aph [Sarcastically]:
"Sorry, I didn't know I had to knock in my G: "You don't,
but can you just keep it down? I don't wanna Aph: "Pregnant
girl needs her rest, huh? I remember when Cupid G: "Ah--
doesn't a god of your-- obvious stature have anything Aph: "Oweeee!
What's with the attitude?! I let you sleep in my G: "I didn't
mean to be rude. Uh, I-I don't wanna bother you Aph: "Tsk,
Sweet-pea-- I am immortal, you know? I got nothin' G: "Ow!" Aph: "The doctor is in." G: "See these?
These are my scrolls. I wrote them. I wrote Aph: "Hm-m-m-m-m." G: "Ugh!
[Sighs] Something keeps telling me that I have to Aph: "Well, why don't you?" G: "It's
not that easy! I-I-I-I don't have time for it, for one Aph: "Tell me, um, how you would write about today." G: "You mean, if I could." Aph: "Well?" G: "Well--
today-- started like any other day. Xena and Joxer ----------------------------------------------------------------- G's Voice: "I came up with the best one." G: "How 'bout the name, `Rochelle.'" X: "And have her called `Roach' for short? I don't like that." Joxer [Jox]: "How
do you guys know it's gonna be a girl? Maybe, G: "All right. How 'bout `Aloysius?' X: "That's not funny." G: "It was
a thought. I'm glad we're almost to Pilos. I know J: "Oh-- pregnant woman's hungry. There's news. Oh!" G: "And cranky." X: "Cranky?
I haven't been cranky for years. Joxer, have you G: "Tell the truth, Joxer." [[[[[[X: "Now,
you listen to me, monkey-man. You _ever_ do that X: "So, have ya?" Jox: "No?" X: "Hm-m." G: "Cop out.
All right, Xena, it's not your fault-- with your X: "You're
patronizing me. Gabrielle, I am in full control of G: "You wanna bet?" X: "Anything you name." G: "How 'bout
a month of cooking and cleaning-- that you can't X: "You throw in back rubs and you got a deal." G: "It's a deal. Ow!" X: "Doesn't count." G: "Well--
that's OK. In the spirit of friendship, I will take Jox: "I'll help ya." G: "Joxer,
no, you have to stay with Xena, not that I don't X: "All right,
Gabrielle. You take good care of my baby. Make G: "It doesn't take a genius to wash a horse." X: "Well,
it'll come in handy for all those backrubs you're ----------------------------------------------------------------- G: "Did you
hear that? Xena telling me how to bathe you. What ----------------------------------------------------------------- [ACT I] Aph: "So,
you shrunk her horse! Big deal! Everybody shrinks as G: "Now, that's very constructive. What are you writing?" Aph: "`Patient
is hostile and insecure-- possibly masking some G: "This is stupid." Aph: "No, I'm sorry. Look-- no more scroll, all right?" G: "`Latent
tendencies?' Where did you learn to talk like Aph: "Honey,
don't let the blonde hair fool you. Although G: "What?" Aph: "Nothing. Please-- continue." G: "Where did I leave off?" Aph: "Shrunken horse?" G: "Right. Hm-m-m-m-m." ----------------------------------------------------------------- G: "What happened to you?" Lachrymose [Lac]: "Divine retribution. That's-- what happened." G: "Who _are_ you?" Lac: "Lachrymose--
god of despair. Can't you read? Hm-m? G: "I-- I'm
so sorry. Y-you gotta admit, uh [Chuckles]-- that Lac: "So? I've never laughed-- in my whole life." G: "You're kidding." Lac: "I wish I was. I've never done that, either." G: "I can make you laugh. I bet I could." Lac: "I hate-- puns-- or jokes-- or riddles." G: "I tell
stories-- true stories. Let's say-- if I can make Lac: "Well, you can try-- but I doubt it'll work." G: "All right--
just don't underestimate me. Xena does that. [[[[[[G: "You're such a cute little rabbit.]]]]]] G: "It's
funny now, but at the time, I was just a big carrot Lac: "And that's-- it?" G: "No, no I'm-- I'm just warming up. Yep." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Jox: "Kid's got staying power." X: "Yeah." Jox: "Some set of pipes, huh?" X: "What?" Jox: "I said, `Some set 'a lungs.'" X: "I can't hear you." Jox: "Some set 'a lungs!" X: "Oh, yeah-- swell. Kootchie-kootchie-koo." Woman: "Oh-h-h-h-h-h--
did that mean old warrior princess scare Jox: "Nice move." Man's Voice: "How are you?" X: "Are you
kidding me? I scared it mute. What kind of a Jox: "Oh, come on, Xena. You're terrific with kids." X: "Oh, Gabrielle
never told you about King Gregor's child, X's Voice: "Look,
I may not be nanny material-- but _you_ try X: "So?" Jox: "Well,
so you're-- method's a little unorthodox. It X: "You think?" Jox: "Sure." X: "Well,
maybe you're right, huh? After all, how much do kid's ----------------------------------------------------------------- G [Chuckles]:
"That little rascal-- stole all of Cupid's arrows G's Voice: "I'm
talking about baby Bliss. You know-- Cupid and [[[[[[2nd Boy:
"These are for you." Cowman: "Let go of my G's Voice: "I
thought it was cute-- until I became the [[[[[[G: "Xena?"
X: "Gabrielle?" G: "Xena?" J: "Blecch! Lac: "Well, I guess ya-- had to be there, huh?" G: "All right.
Let's find out what kind of humor you _do_ like. [[[[[[G: "Have faith." G: "What
about-- action?! Yeah? Everybody loves a good chase G's Voice: "Like
the time we went to India. I don't get that [[[[[[G: "No!
Stop! Somebody's trying to kill me?! G's Voice: "Maybe
that's India's way of rolling out the red G: "Moving
right along. How about-- a little romantic comedy? [[[[[[G: "Look!
Cherries! Mm-m! I love cherries." Draco: Aph: "Are
you kidding? Honey-- god or no god, Lachrymose is G [Sighs]: "I tried that." [[[[[[Autolycus
[Auto] [Coughs]: "Well, nothing-- quite like a G: "What _is_ this?" Aph: "You
know-- slumber-party mode. It's the only way to G: "I feel ridiculous." Aph: "Want me to pierce your ear?" G: "No!" Aph: "So,
let me ask you this-- isn't all this story-telling an G: "It's
similar-- but with writing-- it's like talking to Aph: "So then, who cares? Why write?" G: "Haven't
you ever had an artistic impulse-- that's like a bad Aph: "Of
course! Who do you think accessorizes all these G: "I'm glad you understand." Aph: "That's
what I'm here for. So-- what did Xena do when she G: "Xena
and I are best friends. There aren't any secrets Aph: "Hm-m-m-- you stalled, huh?" G: "Exactly." ----------------------------------------------------------------- X: "What-- is taking her so long?" Jox: "I don't know." X: "Joxer, just pay the bill." Jox: "I can't. Gabrielle took my money. Let's get her." X: "Yeah." Taygar [Tay]'s
Brother [Bro]: "Hey, watch it, woman. Hey-- X: "What of it?" Tay's Bro: "Taygar's
my brother. Prepare to die! Oh-h-h-h! G: "What's with him?" X: "Family problems." Jox: "I blame the parents." G: "How was your meal?" X: "A little too much salt." G: "Uh-h-h,
unfortunately, there's been a slight delay, Xena. Jox: "Let
me. First, you got your nails done. Then you went to G: "No--
but you get the supplies and meet me at the spring. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Lac [Sighs]: "Guess
she must 'a just pulled free and-- wandered G: "She's gone? Argo's gone." ----------------------------------------------------------------- [ACT II] Aph: "So,
you shrunk her horse and then you lost him. So, G: "So, what? Do you know how important Argo is to Xena?" G's Voice: "Sometimes,
I think she likes that horse more than G: "I can't
count the number of times that Argo has saved Xena. Aph: "I don't
like animals. They're-- dirty and smelly, and-- G: "No--
I'm fine, thank you. What is that smell? It smells Aph: "Essence
of white chocolate, to be exact. Haven't you G: "Ah-- anyway-- I looked for that little horse everywhere." ----------------------------------------------------------------- X: "OK, we
got peanuts. We got pickled eggs-- castor oil. All Jox: "Did you get prunes?" X's Voice: "Yeah, what's life without prunes?" G: "Argo. Argo-- where are you?" X: "Bag of
wheat, bag of wheat. Ooh, lookie there-- the last Tay's Bro: "So--
you thought you got rid of me, huh? Well-- X: "Luck has nothing to do with it." Tay's Bro: [Yells] Jox's Voice: "Nice save!" X: "And, it's on special, huh?" Man's Voice: "Clean up on aisle seven." Jox: "Hm-m." Man's Voice: "Clean up on aisle seven." Jox: "Not so tough, now, are you, Mr. Tough Guy?" X: "Nah, he's just an oaf. Here." Tay's Bro: "Oaf!" X: "See?
What I'm more concerned about is that, any kid of mine [[[[[[X: "You
know, you should find a different line of work." Jox: "Giants?" Woman's Voice: "Are these fresh?" Jox [Snickers]:
"Giants? Hades, that's the least 'ayour [[[[[[G: "What is it?!"]]]]]] Jox: "Harpies-- " Man's Voice: "Find any?" Woman's Voice: "Yeah." Jox: "Bacchae-- " [Chuckles] Jox: "Oh,
sure-- that kid 'a yours is gonna encounter a host of X: "What?" Jox: "You." X: "Oh-h-h!" Jox: "Ow. Ow. Ow." X: "Oh, thank you. Thank you." G: "Argo.
Argo. Ar-- excuse me. Argo. Argo! Argo?! Argo! Lac: "Oh-- touching." A Man's Voice:
"There's something wrong with this cart. It Lac: "But we had a deal-- remember?" G: "Will
you give me a break?! Unless you can't do it. I mean, Lac: "Oh, yeah?" G: [Yells] ----------------------------------------------------------------- [ACT III] G: "No! Argo!
No! Stop! Argo! Whoa! Hey-hey, boy! Come X: "See,
you don't need to tell Gabrielle, 'cause I don't mean Jox: "Hey--
you're pregnant. That's the way pregnant women X: "That's right." Jox: "Sure." X: "Though
I should try to remain calm, 'cause that's what's Jox: "Oh, sure. Tet-tet-tet-tet! I'l-l-l-l-l-l get it." X: "I've
learned how-- how my actions can have consequences for Jox: "Xena--
take it from me-- if anybody can love and protect X: "All right, that's enough. Let go of me." Jox: "Ga-- " G: "Sh-h-h-h-h!" X: "Eggs. Eggs!" Jox: "Argo." X's Voice: "What?" Jox: "I'll-- go. I'll go get the eggs." Cashier's Voice:
"Excuse me-- first you buy it-- then you eat G: "Joxer!" Jox: "Gabrielle-- wh-- what happened?!" G: "I'll explain later. I need your help." Jox: "OK.
Wait a minute. This is our golden opportunity. G: "Oh, gods! Joxer!" Jox: "Sorry.
Sorry. I got a better idea! You can be a circus G: "Joxer,
I need your help to find the god who did this, to Jox: "OK. What am I gonna tell Xena?" G: "I don't know. Make something up. Tell her anything." Jox: "OK. Fine. Now, what am I gonna say to a god?" ----------------------------------------------------------------- Jox: "Oh-h-h-h-h,
Lachromose! God of despair. Hear my plea, G: "Just try and stay still, Argo-- please." Jox: "Life is so awful!" Lac: "Really? How awful?" Jox: "Uh--
you're [Chuckles]-- you're the-- the first god I've G: "Joxer!" Jox: "Uh-- well-- it all started when I was a child." Jox's Voice: "I
was a happy kid-- at first. But then-- Mom and Lac: "No,
it's not, but tell me more. Tell me more. It must ----------------------------------------------------------------- Aph: "You actually thought Joxer was gonna help?" G: "Joxer has pulled through for us several times." Aph: "Really?" G: "Mm-hm-m." Aph: "Like when?" G: "Joxer-- he, uh-- " [[[[[[Jox: "Oh, boy. Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h! Hah-hah-h-h-h!"]]]]]] G: "OK, forget that. No, but, Joxer, sometimes, he-- " [[[[[[J/Attus [Yells]: "Attus glad that over."]]]]]] G: "Well,
no, no, no, no, no-- no, no. No, Joxer-- he-he can [[[[[[Jox: "Huh?
Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! G: "Oh, no. OK Once-- there was this time that he-- " [[[[[[Jox: "Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh-- Meg-- gee, ya got big feet for a G: "OK. Now, there was a time-- that Joxer-- " [[[[[[Jox: "I'm
Joxer, by the way." G: "Gabrielle." Jox: G: "OK--
you win. But Joxer is a loyal friend, and he's a great Aph: "Don't get me wrong. I love the poor dope." [Laughs] G: "You know,
he convinced Lachrymose to return me to my normal Aph: "Really?
Joxer's pathetic life was right up his alley, G: "Yeah-- not even Lachrymose was laughing." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Jox: [Cries] Lac: "Oh--
oh, dear-- oh, that's terrible. Please tell me it G: "Sh-h-h-h." ----------------------------------------------------------------- X: "Watch
my stuff, wouldja? I'm gonna go get my friend from ----------------------------------------------------------------- [ACT IV] X: "All right. Anyone seen a guy in a little pointy hat?" Bob: "Is that-- supposed to be-- funny?" X: "No, I
just got lucky. Hm-m. Tough crowd. Well-- no ----------------------------------------------------------------- G: "Argo-- come back!" Lac: "You again?!" Jox: "Oh!" Lac: "Just wait-- till I catch you." G: "No, no." Jox: "Huh--
must be Lachrymose-intolerant. You know, you could Lac: "Now, you are not as dumb-- as you look." Jox: "Well." Lac: "Farewell. Yah-h-h-h-h!" G: "Joxer! Let's get outta here!" ----------------------------------------------------------------- X: "Lighten up. Ah, now, _that_ is devotion. Here, girl!" Men's Voices:
"Look, a stray dog!" "They took a dog and put a X: "Gabrie-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-elle!
Gabrielle-- what G: "I can explain." Jox: "Look at that! Cold water! She said `cold water!'" G: "Xena,
now don't get mad. It's not good for the baby. OK, Tay's Bro: "Say your prayers, Xena." X: "Allelujah. All right." Jox: "Hm-m-m-m?" X: "OK, now, I'm not mad-- I'm just very, very disappointed." [Pie Fight] Jox: "Oh-h-h-h! [Laughs] Oop." X: "And as for you-- " Jox: "No, no-- think about it. Think about it! Oh!" X: "Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!" Man's Voice: "Hey! She hit Bob!" X: "It was her." Men's Voices: "It was the blonde." "Yeah." G: "What?" Man's Voice: "I'll take a pie, please!" G: [Laughs] Men's Voices:
"Boysenberry?" "Yeah!" "Hey! Don't touch
my Jox: "Heh-heh! You forgot to duck! Heh-heh!" G: "So did you." [Chuckles] Bob: "Get
'em!" G's Voice: "Heads up!" Cowboy: "Yah-h-h-h-h-h-h!" Jox: "Ooh-- which one of ya threw that pie?" X: "Heads up, Lachrymose." Lac: [Laughs] All: [Laugh] ----------------------------------------------------------------- Aph: "A stupid,
boring, unfunny excuse for a pie fight finally G: "Go figure." Aph: "Huh?
You must 'a been aiming too high the rest of the G: "I guess so." Aph: "You OK?" G: "This isn't working." Aph: "What's not working?" G: "I thought
telling you the Lachrymose story would, somehow Aph: "Oh,
well. At least you got him in touch with his inner G: "That's it." Aph: "What?" G: "That's the answser." Aph: "What are you talking about?" G: "Ever
since Xena became pregnant, I have been-- trying to Aph: "Well, it looks like my work here is done." G: "Wait. No." Aph: "What? You got a lot of catching up to do." G: "Thank you." Aph: "Don't thank me yet. Wait till ya get my bill." G's Voice: "And
the day ended as it began-- alongside my ----------------------------------------------------------------- X: "You know,
I gotta tell ya, I am feeling a whole lot better. G: "Technically,
you didn't lose your temper-- but Xena, I saw Jox: "Much less." X: "Oh?" Jox: "Oh, l-l-loving." X: "Yep, loving-- that's me." G: [Laughs] Jox: [Laughs] X: "Who threw that pie?" Lac: [Laughs] |
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