Trascrizione in inglese dei dialoghi dell'episodio:

Little problems

Episodio: n. 8

quinta serie

(si ringrazia Xenamedia e Cristina Creek)

[TEASER]

Galantis [Gal]: "Get it all, boys! It's not every day you
penetrate Aphrodite's sanctum! Now, _this_ is what _I_ call a
treasure chest! [Laughs] Who says crime doesn't pay, eh,
boys?!" [Laughter]

X: "We do."

[Fight]

Gal: "Ah-h-h!"

X: "Come on. Come on."

Thug: "I got her!"

X: "Down, boy. Come on. Ha-ha."

Thug: "Ow!"

X: "Well, now-- I do believe that's Tharon's brand, huh? Well,
you give him a little message from Xena."

Gal: "Ow-w-w-w-w-w!"

X: "You tell him to stop looting, or I'll finish off what I
started."

Thug's Voice: "She got me right in the jewels!"

G: "Who's Tharon?"

X: "Someone I thought was dead."

Aphrodite [Aph]'s Voice: "Couldn't happen to a better guy."

Aph: "Imagine-- sending thugs to rob my sacred tribute."

X: "A diamond necklace doesn't qualify as a religious icon,
Aphrodite."

G: "Don't tell me you're giving gifts to the poor."

Aph: "Oh, as if they could accessorize with this? No, I'm doing
something much more lucra-- I mean-- useful. Come, see."

G: "Hmm."

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X: "What's going on, here?"

Aph: "Kindness, charity-- compassion-- not to mention a 20 %
increase in my offerings since I let these poor unfortunates
crash here while the sisters try and heal them."

G: "I can't believe it-- Aphrodite succoring the ill."

Aph: "I am not! These people give me things because they're
grateful!"

X: "Who's this?"

Aph: "That's Daphne. Pretty, isn't she? She's been like that
since she got here. The sisters don't have very much hope. They
say there's nothing they can do. She's lost her will to live."

G's Voice: "Where are her parents?"

Aph: "They say her mother's dead-- but, her father comes by
every morning on his way to work at the docks."

X: "He should be here. "Kid, if I could trade places with ya--
give you a second chance, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

Aph: "OK, I'll do it."

G: "Xena. Hey-- what did you do?!"

Aph: "I can switch Daphne's life force with Xena's. Who knows?
Maybe it'll give her the strength she needs to get better."

G: "What about her baby?"

Aph: "Oh, it'll be fine. It just stays in Xena's body and gets
plenty of rest."

G: "Xena?"

Daphne [Dap]: "Where am I?"

G: "Xena-- ?"

Dap: "Who are you? Where's my mommy?"

G: "It's OK. Daphne, it's OK. We're your friends."

Dap-as-X ["Dap"]: "Who are you calling Daphne? Gabrielle-- it's
me."

G: "Xena?"

"Dap": "Who else?"

Aph: "Take a look."

Xena-in-mirror ["X"]: [Gasps]

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[ACT I]

"X": "What happened?!"

"Dap": "Aphrodite? What happened?"

G: "It's a good question."

Aph: "Oops! Guess I didn't complete the switch!"

Dap: "I'm scared."

"X": "You're scared."

G: "Daphne-- I'm Gabrielle. This is-- this is the goddess,
Aphrodite. I think she's put Xena into your body-- but it's only
temporary, because she's going to switch it back. Right?"

Aph: "Right! Just as soon as I figure out how."

Father [Fath]: "Daphne-- you're awake."

Dap: "Yes, Father. Where is Mother?"

Fath: "She's-- . Well, come on, now. Let's get you home.
We'll talk there."

G: "Wait. I have, um-- I have a friend in your daughter."

"Dap": "Don't worry, Gabrielle. I'll be fine. You just take
care of things here, until you work out what's wrong."

G: "OK-- `Daphne.'"

Fath: "Come on, girl. Let's go."

Dap: "Coming, Father."

Aph: "Boy-- talk about failure to communicate."

G: "Says the god who can't pull off a simple body switch?"

Aph: "Oh, relax! I'll figure it out! I just need to think."

G: "That's what I'm afraid of."

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Tharon [Tha]: "Xena-- here?"

Gal: "She said-- if you keep looting-- she'll finish what she
started."

Tha: "Well, let her try. I'm a lot tougher than when we first
tangled-- and a lot smarter, too."

Gal: "You gonna take her?"

Tha: "Like candy from a baby."

Gal: "Yes."

Tha: "I've waited ten years for the chance to do unto Xena what
she did to me. Now you take your men and scour the town. A
woman like Xena-- won't be hard to find. Now, go!"

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Dap: "Mo-om. Where is she? You said you'd tell me when we got
home."

Fath: "I know. It's just-- "

Dap: "Mo-om? Mo-om? Where are you?"

Fath: "Daphne-- your mother-- she's dead."

Dap: "No, no. She can't be."

Fath: "Daphne, stop it. Come on, settle down, now. You hear?
Stop it!"

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Aph's Voice: "What about this one? Hensbane. A medicinal
herb-- "

Aph: "-- used to separate man's mind from his powers."

G: "No hensbane. Besides, we don't want to separate minds. We
need to separate two souls from one body."

Aph: "Ooh! Makeover tips!"

G: "Aphrodite, we don't have all day!"

Aph: "Right. Tell me about it. If we don't get Xena out of
Daphne's body by sundown, she's trapped there forever. Plus
which, I would miss the big rave at the Gemini Club. Word is,
Castor and Pollux themselves are gonna show up. And I hear the
band-- "

G: "What did you say?"

Aph: "The part about-- Xena being trapped forever?"

G: "No, about Castor and Pollux. They're Zeus' twins, right?"

Aph: "Hm-m-m-m-m."

G: "Two souls, trapped in one body."

Aph: "Mm-hmm-- bingo. The original two-for-one boys. I call
'em double trouble."

G: "Spare me the details. Didn't one of them create an oil? An
oil that can separate them in times of battle?"

Aph: "That would be Castor-- keeps it in a little pouch around
his belt just in case of emergencies-- !"

G: "OK. We better find a safe place to hide Xena's body. Give
me a hand."

Aph: "Uh-- and risk a law suit if I drop her? I don't think so.
Why don't I just, like zap her with a-- "

G: "Haven't you done enough? Look at her. Promise me that you
will not use your magic any more today. Thank you."

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Dap: "Oh. I forgot you were there."

"X": "No wonder. You've had a lot to deal with, huh?"

Dap: "Yeah-- my mother."

"X": "Daphne, I know. I'm sorry. I know you must have loved
her very much."

Dap: "I did-- and now, she's gone. I don't even know how it
happened."

"X": "You will. Listen, it's gonna take your dad a little while
to find the words, but he's gonna tell you."

Dap [Interrupts]: "No, he won't. You were there on the ride
home. You saw. We never talk. We never have."

"X": "Then, maybe now is the time to start-- for both of you."

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Aph: "Careful, careful! Easy, easy! Ooh! Watch the head!"

G: "Thanks, I couldn't have done it without you. Can you help
me get her up here? Please?"

Aph: "Ah-h-h-h-h! Uh-h-h-h!"

G: "Hurry up!"

Aph: "Back off! I'm carrying for two, here!" [Sighs]

G: "I'll just wrap around."

Gal's Voice: "Don't bother!"

Gal: "We'll take her as is." [Laughter]

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[ACT II]

G: "If you goons think you're taking her anywhere, then you're
dumber than you look."

Aph: "Hmm! No news there. I mean, how smart is it to take a
soulless body, anyway?"

G: "Smarter than babbling about it."

Gal's Voice: "`Soulless?' What does that mean?"

G [Snickers]: "Gods-- they're-- they're so mysterious."

Aph: "Oh, yeah?! Well, figure this one out!"

G: "Testy, too."

Gal: "Enough charades! We want Xena!"

G: "Then you're gonna have to come through me to get her."

Gal: "Not a problem."

[Fight]

G: "Yah! Yah! Yah!"

Gal: "Wait!"

Thug's Voice: "The rope's burning!"

Gal: Wait! You!"

Thugs' Voices: "But she whipped us good!" "Wait for me!"

G: "I wish you could have seen that one."

Aph: "Whoo! Hoo! You go, cowgirl! Yippee-ke-yi-yay!"

G [Sarcastically]: "Thank you for your help, again."

Aph: "Oh, well-- these are new nails."

G: "You think you can stay around long enough to go to the
Gemini Club?"

Aph: "Does Medusa have bad hair days? I am so there!"

G: "Aphrodite-- I know I said no magic-- but can you seal this
cave? I don't want Tharon's men coming back for Xena."

Aph: "Uh-huh-- so, now that you need it, it's OK to use my
powers. Aren't you afraid I'm gonna screw it up."

G: "I'm willing to take that risk."

Aph: "All right. Let's go. I'm gonna seal this place up as
tight as a drum."

G [Whispers]: "I'll be back for you."

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Men's Voice: "One hundred!" "One hundred forty!"

Fath: "Give me a bunch of greens and a couple of small turnips."

Woman: "Mm-hmm."

"X"'s Voice [Softly]: "Ps-s-s-st. Daphne-- over here."

"X" [Softly]: "Go talk to your father. Go o-o-o-on. Now's as
good a time as ever."

Dap: "I can't. I don't know what to say."

Fath: "About what?"

Dap: "Nothing."

Fath: "Oh."

A Woman's Voice: "Flowers-- fresh flowers here. Daisies and
roses."

"X"'s Voice: "Very pretty, aren't they?"

Dap: "They were my mother's favorite. She always said-- `A rose
is the crown of your garden-- '"

Fath: "`-- but a daisy is its heart.' You talking to yourself."

Dap: "Sort 'a"

"X": "Go on, Daphne, say something to him."

Dap: "I can't."

Fath: "Can't what?"

Dap: "I-- can't believe you know that-- about the daisies, I
mean."

Fath: "They were Mother's favorite. Well, come on, now-- we
can't eat flowers."

Man's Voice: "Whoa, boy! Whoa! Whoa, whoa! Get out of the
way! Whoa! Come back here! Stop!"

"Dap": "Who-o-o-o-oa! Slow down! Come, boy."

Man: "Thanks."

Fath: "Daphne! Daphne! You all right?"

Dap: "Yeah-- I'm OK."

Fath: "Come on, let's go."

Woman's Voice: "-- her eggs."

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G: "Excuse me. Pardon me?"

Woman's Voice: "Oh!"

Bouncer [bou]: "Whoa, hay! Where do you think _you're_ going?"

Aph: "Uh! Inside? Huh-- honestly-- help, these days!"

Bou: "Names."

G: "We're not on your list. We need-- "

Aph: "Clearly-- you don't know who I am."

Twin A: "Hi."

Bou: "I know who you're _not_-- and that's twins."

Twin B: "Hi."

Bou: "Theme party. I don't see double? You don't get in."

Aph: "Oh, you're gonna see _double_, all right!"

G [Softly]: "I have a plan."

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Tha: "Are you insane?"

Gal: "I'm tellin' you, boss-- it was her."

Tha: "Xena-- in the body of a child."

Gal: "It all fits. What that goddess said about the soulless
body. The way that little girl stopped those horses! And that
war cry! Eee! It's Xena, all right."

Thug: "Hm-hmm."

Tha: "Well, there's only one way to find out. Get the girl.
Go."

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"X"'s Voice [Whispers]: "Daphne."

Dap: "Go away."

"X"'s Voice: "Try again."

"X": "Daphne, he's your father."

Dap: "So?"

Fath: "What?"

Dap: "Nothing. There is something-- about Mother. How did she
die?"

Fath: "It's no concern for a child."

Dap: "But I have to know what happened. She was my mother."

Fath: "And my wife-- so leave it be. It's enough she's gone.
Do you have to keep reminding me?!"

Dap: [Cries]

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Men's Voices: "Whoa! Check them out!" "Hello, darlings!"

Bou: "Haven't seen you girls here, before."

G-as-Bruna [Bru]: "We're new in town. I'm Bru-n-n-n-na!
She's-- "

Aph-as-Hilda [Hil]: "Hilda?!"

Bou: "You're twins."

Bru and Hil: "Ja-a-a-a-a-a!"

Hil: "Identical."

Bou: "So, how come you're taller than she is?"

Hil: "'Tis simple-- I got the looks-- und-- mine sister got--
m-m-m-m-- m-m-m-m-- muscles!"

Bru: "Das good-- ja-a-a-a-a?! We wrestle-- in oil. You have
such things, ja?"

Bou: "Oh, yeah."

Bru: "Ja."

Bou: "Just step inside-- and save me a match, will ya?"

Bru and Hil: "Mm-m-m-m-m-m."

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Dap: "Mommy-- why did you leave me? Please-- I need you. I
want to be with you."

Gal: "Trust me, little girl. _That_-- can be arranged."

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[ACT III]

Dap: "I don't understand. Who are you?"

Gal: "Nice try-- Xena. [Laughter] _You_-- sure picked one
_helluva_ place to hide."

Dap: "Xena-- "

"X": "It's all right, Daphne. I'm here. I need you to relax.
Give me total control of your body."

Dap: "OK."

Gal: "An old friend of yours wants to say-- hello."

"Dap": "If you're talking about Tharon-- you can tell him-- I'm
as interested in what he has to say-- as I am in darning socks."

Gal: "You can tell him personally when you're kneelin' at his
feet."

"Dap": "Turn around now, and save yourself the humiliation."

Gal: "Oo-o-o-o-o-o! For some reason-- you don't scare me, kid."

"Dap": "Really? Maybe this'll help."

[Fight]

"Dap": "Next time-- pick on someone your own size."

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Men's Voices: "Take her down!" "Yeah! Ride her like a Hydra!
Thataway!"

Hil: "Ooh! God! That's _gotta_ hurt!"

Man's Voice: "Oh. Yeah. Yeah."

Hil: "Ooh-- there they are."

Castor [Cas] and Pollux [Pol]: "Oo-o-o-oh. Ah-h-h-h-h."

Man's Voice: "Come on. Oh, yeah. That's it."

Bru: "It's hanging below his belt."

Hil: "Yeah, I noticed."

Bru: "The oil-- Aphrodite."

Hil: "Right-- I knew that."

Cas: "Oo-o-o-oh. Oo-o-oh. If you're lookin' to double your
pleasure-- you've come to the right place. He's Pollux."

Pol: "He's Castor."

Bru: "And I am Bruna. And this is my sister-- Hilda."

Hil: "Just in from-- Valholla."

Cas [Speaks Scandinavian]: "How about a night of crazy sex back
at our place?"

Hil [Aside]: "Wha'd he say?"

Bru [Aside]: "Just nod."

Bru and Hil: "Ja-a-a-a-a-a."

Pol and Cas: "Ja, ja."

Bru: "You speak our language with such ease."

Cas: "My brother and I pride ourselves on being `cunning
linguists.'"

Pol: "Say-- how 'bout we warm up with a little-- oil wrestling?"

Hil: "You read our minds! Ja-- you bad boys. Time for a
spanking?"

Bru: "Ah, now, Sister. We need to save some for the
imagination, ja."

Cas: "Good point. Let us away, ladies."

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Dap: "Wow! Did you see how _high_ that guy went up in the air?
And the look on his face when I flipped over him?"

"X": "Don't have too much fun, Daphne. Fighting should always
be a least resort."

Dap: "And hearing myself say all those things. I hope I can
stand up for myself like that someday."

"X": "Well, what makes you think you can't do it now?"

Dap: "I just wish Father could have been there to see it. He
would have been so proud-- even if it wasn't really me."

"X": "I know it may be hard to see this, Daphne, but your father
loves you. And he _is_ proud of you. He just doesn't always
know how to show it."

Dap: "Because he misses Mother?"

"X": "Sure, that's a large part of it."

Dap: "I miss her, too."

"X": "I know you do. And it may not seem fair, but you're gonna
have to grow up a little faster than you thought. It's just you
and your dad, now. You're gonna have to learn to take care of
each other."

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Tha: "Aw-w-w-w-w-w-- are you tellin' me the little girl did this
to ya?"

Gal: "Ah-h-h-h!"

Tha: "Wha'd she do? Club you with her lollipop?"

Gal: "She may look like a child, but she has Xena's skill."

Tha: "No wonder. You have the reflexes of a pregnant tortoise.
Now, get up. That leather-clad bitch took half my face. And if
I do nothing else in this lifetime, I'll make her scream in agony
for it!"

Gal: "I'll need more men."

Tha: "No, you won't! We'll take away Xena's advantage-- by
luring her to us."

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Dap: "A dash more salt."

"X"'s Voice: "Where'd you learn to cook?"

Dap: "My mom taught me."

"X": "My mother's a great cook, but it never rubbed off on me."

Dap [Giggles]: "What about your dad?"

"X": "What about him?"

Dap: "What's he like?"

"X": "He's dead."

Dap: "Do you miss him?"

X: "I never really knew him. He wasn't a very good man from all
the stories I've heard, but-- I guess I, um-- I guess I miss the
idea of him."

Dap: "That makes us kind of the same, Xena. We both had bad
luck."

"X": "Well, I've never thought about it that way. I guess I
always felt lucky to have my mother-- just like you're lucky to
have your father. And he is _very_ lucky to have you."

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Announcer's Voice: "Now, the main event! The grapple in the
grease! The toil in the oil! Lude-mania! Ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Hil: "I feel like I've been basted!"

Bru: "We get the oil and we get out of here."

Cas's Voice: "Ready to get slippery, ladies?"

Pol and Cas: "Yah!"

Bru: "Will you cut it out?!"

Hil: "Sorry! Ooh, ja-a-a-a-a. Guten tag!"

Bru: "Come on!"

Hil: [Laughs]

Cas: "Oh, I think I'm in love."

Announcer: "Your winners are-- Bruna and Hilda!"

Hil: "Yay!"

Pol: "Hey, you're not twins!"

Hil: "We're not?! You lied to me?!"

Cas: "Hay, what happened to your accents?!"

Bru: "It-it-it comes and goes."

Announcer: "What's going on, here?!"

G: "All right. It's a shameless exploitation of the female
form. That's what. You should all be ashamed."

Cas: "Huh? Hey! She stole my oil!"

G: "That's our cue!"

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"X": "Hey-- nice cast."

Dap: "Thanks. I've seen my dad do it a _million_ times. I've
never tried it myself. I wanna surprise him with dinner."

"X": "What's the matter? Daphne?"

Dap: "I re-member what happened. This place-- I fell in."

Fath: " Daphne! Get away from the water! Never-- never come to
these rocks again by yourself. Do you hear me?!"

Dap: "I-- fell in, and-- Mom dove in after me. She drowned--
and it's my fault. It's my fault she died! It's my fault! It's
my fault!"

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Fath: "Daphne! Daphne!"

Gal: "Hay! So, _you're_ a fisherman, huh?! Well, I hope you
won't mind if we use you as bait. Get him."

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[ACT IV]

"X"'s Voice: "Daphne, listen to me. You couldn't be more wrong.
Your mother's death is not your fault. Listen to me, please.
What happened to her is a terrible, terrible thing, but even if
she'd known she was going to die, she would have done it anyway--
because she loved you that much. Do you see?"

Dap: "How do _you_ know?!"

"X"'s Voice: "Hey-- I'm about to be a mother, too. And if you
were my little girl, I would trade my life for yours in a
heartbeat."

Dap: "I wish my dad felt that way."

G's Voice: "Daphne?!"

G: "Daphne-- are you OK?"

Dap: "Yeah-- I'll be OK."

G: "I have to talk to Xena."

"Dap": "I'm here, Gabrielle."

G: "We've been looking for you. We found this at Daphne's
house. Tharon wants you to give yourself up in exchange for
Daphne's father. We have to get you back in your body."

"Dap": "There's no time. They're gonna kill him by sunset."

G: "I know, Xena, but we have to get you back in your body by
then, or we may never."

"Dap": "Then we'll have to split up. Aphrodite-- go get my
body. Meet us at the castle as soon as you can."

Aph: "No problem."

"Dap": "I've got a feeling this one's gonna be close."

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Fath: "What's this about? Who are you people?"

Tha: "You're in no position to ask questions. But-- since I see
no reason _not_ to tell you-- we want your daughter."

Fath: "My daughter."

Tha: "Hm-m-m-m-- let's just say-- she's not who she appears to
be."

Fath: "I don't know what you think she's done-- but if you so
much as touch her-- I swear, I'll kill you!"

Tha: "Shut up! Now I understand how you feel. Therefore, I
won't ridicule your pathetic threats! If if makes you feel any
better-- this isn't personal. You and your daughter will be
casualties in a war that began long ago."

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G: "Hello! My little girl is selling junior Amazon cookies."

Dap: "Would you like to try a free sample?"

Guard: "Don't mind if I do, little girl."

"Dap": "I've just cut off the flow of blood to your brain. Tell
me where to find Galantis, or you'll be dead in thirty seconds.
Am I making myself clear?"

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Fath: "Daphne! Get out of here!"

"Dap": "Not without you."

Fath: "Who are these men? Why are they after you?"

"Dap": "They think I'm somebody else."

Fath: "Where'd you learn to do that?"

"Dap": "Uh-- from a friend."

Fath: "Thank the gods you're safe. If anything ever happened to
you, I'd never forgive myself."

"X"'s Voice: "Daphne, I'm going to let you take over now."

"X": "You and your father have got a few things to talk about.
Go on. You can do it."

Fath: "Are you all right?"

Dap: "I understand if you blame me for Mommy's death."

Fath: "Oh-- no, sweetheart. That's why I wasn't by your side
when you woke up. I couldn't stand to face you. If I'd just
been with you that day-- I could have saved you both."

Dap: "I've got this friend. And she told me we're lucky to have
each other-- you and me-- and I can see now she's right. I don't
blame you for Mommy's death. Do you love me?"

Fath: "Of course, I do. I'm so sorry you even have to ask. But
I promise, you will never have to again."

G: "The coast is clear. Let's go."

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Fath: "Daphne! Daphne!"

Gal [Laughs]: "Come here!"

Tha: "Hook, line, and sinker."

Dap: "Let go of me! Get off! Stop it! I said let go of me!"

Thug's Voice: "There they are! Let's get 'em!"

G: "You know how to use one of these?"

Fath: "Yeah, to gut a fish."

G: "Think of 'em as really mean trout."

[Fight]

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Gal: "Ow!"

"Dap": "Believe me-- this is gonna hurt you a lot more than it's
gonna hurt me."

Gal: "Ow-w-w-w-w-w!"

Tha: "That's-- gotta hurt. So-- finally-- after all these
years-- I get to pay you back for what you did to me."

"Dap": "I hate to break it to you-- but you were never that
good-looking to begin with."

Tha: [Laughs]

[Fight]

Tha: [Yells]

Aph: "You owe me so big time. I hate manual labor. Let's get
this over with."

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[Fight]

Fath: "You're-- Xena."

X: "Just barely."

Dap: "Dad-- this is the friend I was telling you about."

X: "Go on."

Fath: "Thank you for saving my daughter. She's the most
precious thing in all the world to me."

X: "Sure."

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Dap: "Dad says he's gonna teach me how to fish."

X: "Yeah? Well, you can teach him how to cook it, huh?"

Dap: "I guess I could."

X: "I think you and your dad are gonna be just fine."

Dap: "You're the best friend I ever had."

X: "I hope I have a kid just like ya."

Dap: "Will I ever see you again?"

X: "Of course you will. Just look in the mirror."

Fath: "Daphne?"

Aph: "Well-- I guess all's well that ends well."

G: "Hmm."

Aph: "And if you guys don't need me for anything else-- I'm
late for a facial."

G: "It's good to have you back."

X: "It's good to be back."

G: "What are you doing?"

X: "Just checking that everything's where I left it."

G: "Xena, I took good care of you."

X: "I know. Thank you."

G: "What was it like, being young again? Ow!"

X: "You know, some people think that it's easy being a kid,
but-- in a lot of ways, it's harder than being an adult."

G: "You should remember that when your child's a teenager."

X: "Ooh, don't say the `T' word, Gabrielle."