Trascrizione in inglese dei dialoghi dell'episodio:

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Episodio: n. 13

Sesta serie

(si ringrazia Xenamedia e Cristina Creek)

Gabrielle: "Beowulf."Beowulf: "Gabrielle."Gabrielle: "It's good to see you."Beowulf: "And you, Gabrielle."Xena: "Hey."
Beowulf: "Xena, you're long way from home."
Xena: "What's going on, Beowulf? The last time you saw Gabrielle you were willing to walk through a column of fire to be by her side."
Beowulf: "It was love-struck foolishness. I like my bones the way they are... without the flesh seared from them."
Beowulf: "Rest. Slake your thirst."
Xena: "We didn't come here to drink with you, Beowulf. I need to see Odin."
Beowulf: "You know where to find him."
Gabrielle: "Valhalla, but it's not easy to get there."
Valchiria: "For some. But you were a Valkyrie once, Xena. You know the way to Valhalla. Die a hero's death. I'll escort you there myself."
Xena: "That's part of my long-range plan. Right now I just need to see Odin."
Valchiria: "Odin doesn't need to see you. In fact, we have orders to keep you away from him."
Xena: "Well, I don't want to make a sister Valkyrie look bad, but you're gonna have trouble following those orders."Valchiria: "Think so?"Xena: "Mm-hmm." [Inizia a combattere contro le Valchirie.]

Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] "Okay. We're rolling? Sound. Check. Check. Check. Testing 1, 2, 3. Great. Mary had a little lamb. Great... [Vede confusione alla taverna.] Come on. Let's go... Coming through... Excuse me."
Xena: [Butta fuori dalla taverna il capo delle Valchirie.] "Alright, get out."
Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] "Here's Xena now. I think we're just gonna go over and talk to her... Excuse me... Coming through... Sorry, Valkyries... Xena, would you care to tell me why you've returned to the Norse lands at this time? [Xena guarda la telecamera e le si avvicina minacciosamente.] You realize Odin has vowed to kill you should you ever return to Valhalla? Would you care to comment on that threat? Xena?"



Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] "Xena, Warrior Princess. To many she's seen as a savior, a protector of the downtrodden and innocent. Others, however, see her as nothing more than a butcher, her hands stained with the blood of hundreds -- no, thousands -- of innocent people. Which is it? Tonight, we put that question to the legendary woman herself."

Xena: [In uno studio televisivo.] "Hey!" [Allontana una truccatrice.]Gabrielle: [Le viene attaccato un microfono alla veste.] "Hey, watch where you put your hands!"Xena: "Yeah, you watch where you put your hands, buddy."
Nigel: "Xena, welcome. And also with us, Gabrielle, the Battling Bard of Poteidaia, Xena's constant traveling companion and the chronicler of her deeds. Glad you could make it."
Gabrielle: "Um, thank you, it's, uh, good to be here."
Nigel: "Good. Xena, first to you. You don't exactly have the greatest reputation here among the Norsemen. As a Valkyrie, you used Odin's runes to visit a reign of terror on the people of this land."Gabrielle: "Everyone's seen the tapestry."
Xena: "That was a long time ago."
Nigel: "So why come back now? There's no love lost between you and Odin."
Xena: "That's just it. That's exactly why Gabrielle and I--"
Nigel: "You betrayed Odin, didn't you? Turning his lover, if you will, Grinhilda... [mostra un fermo-immagine in bianco e nero della bestia.] ...into a hideous monster."
Gabrielle: "Yeah, but Xena changed her back."
Nigel: "But not before the she-beast and her son Grindl sent many a Viking warrior to Valhalla."
Xena: "Is there a question in this somewhere?"
Nigel: "Xena, is it your intention to kill Odin and have yourself proclaimed a god in his place?"
Gabrielle: "What?"
Xena: "Crazy."
Nigel: "Do you deny that you stole the Rheingold..."
Xena: "No."
Nigel: "... and forged that into a ring which gave you the power of a god?"
Xena: "I gave the Rheingold back. You can ask the Rhine Maidens."
Nigel: "What about the Olympian gods? You destroyed them also didn't you?"
Xena: "Not all of them."
Gabrielle: "See, they were trying to kill her daughter."
Xena: "Right."
Nigel: "A daughter who was following very successfully in her mother's bloody footsteps."
Xena: "Now just a doggone minute--"
Nigel: "Xena do you still have the power to kill a god?"
Xena: [Si alza dalla sedia.] "I got the power to kill much lower forms of life than that."
Nigel: "What's the matter, Xena? Uncomfortable with the truth?"Xena: "The truth? You know what? You wouldn't know the truth if it grew fangs and bit you on the--"Gabrielle: [Mette una mano davanti alla bocca di Xena.] "Actually, this interview is over." [Le ragazze escono dallo studio.]
Nigel: "Come on, Xena. Why don't you just admit it? You've always lusted to have the power of a god and now you're here to kill Odin! Isn't that right, Xena? You're here to kill Odin! [Alla telecamera.] I think that was good. Had her on the ropes."

Nigel: "Xena's protestations of her innocence aside, Odin would do well to fear her, considering the fate of many others who have crossed her in the past and ended up here... on the River Styx in Hades."
Il fiume Stige
Charon -- Boatman of the Dead:Charon: "I can't deny Xena's been good for my business. Wouldn't mind a vacation, but, hey, it's better to be working than not. Right?"
Nigel: "Of course it is. But what you're saying is that most of these passengers are here because of Xena?"
Charon: "Raw numbers? Nah. She's a drop in the bucket. But Xena has sent me some pretty heavy hitters... Elynus of Mycenae, Marc Antony, Velasca, Callisto, you can even make a case for Caesar himself. These people do not lose their mortal coils without a fight."
Caligula: "Hey! Sometime this eternity!"
Charon: "Unlike this guy who's just been asking for a one-way ticket to the Underworld, if you ask me."
Former Emperor of Rome -- Deceased:Caligula: "Is this going to take long? Because I have been waiting for this stupid barge forever. That boatman? I've been bumped twice already. Peon! Damned arrogant ass doesn't know who I am."Nigel: "It will only take a moment. I want to ask you a few questions about Xena."
Caligula: "Xena? You just want to ask me about Xena? Fine, I'll tell you. She's a snake. A treacherous deceiver like the rest of her sex. Never turn you back on her. She and that bard of hers -- yeah, like we don't know what's going on there -- they want you to think Xena fights for honor."
Nigel: "And she doesn't?"
Caligula: "Look, I've spilled enough blood in my day to know why anyone doesn't. It's the scent of it, the taste, the thrill. Xena's no different! I'll show you... Hey! Who killed you?"
Uomo morto: "You did. Beg your pardon, I think you were drunk. You slit me from here to there."
Charon: "Come on, Fancy Pants, I though you were in a hurry?"Caligula: "Get your hands off me! I'm in the middle of a interview, you impudent cur!"Charon: "Yeah, yeah. You may have been a big shot on earth, but down here you're just dead. Get used to it."
Caligula: "Xena's evil! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise! I was a god, a living god... and that bitch took me out."
Charon: "Ooh, there's one more thing I would like to say. At least Xena pays her fare, unlike another so-called super hero I know, more like super-cheapskate. That's right. I'm talking about you, Hercules."
Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] " 'I was a god, a living god... and that bitch took me out.'"

Nigel: "Odin declined an interview for this story, but a source within Valhalla did agree to speak with us on a condition of strict anonymity."
Anonymous Source:
Nigel: "I understand that you are masking your identity in a magic cloak of invisibility."
Fonte: "That is correct."
Nigel: "And that you understand what Xena wants here."
Fonte: "Oh, I know, alright... apples."
Nigel: "Excuse me, you said apples?"
Fonte: "What are you, deaf? She wants the Golden Apples."
Nigel: "Oh, I understand. The Golden Apples... [Immagini delle mele d'oro.] ...protected by Fricka, Odin's sister-in-law. It is rumored that whomever eats the Golden Apples will become a god."
Fonte: "That's right. Xena wants to be a god, goddess, whatever."
Nigel: "Before we get into that, you claimed to have masked your identity in a magic cloak of invisibility. But, isn't it true that only Odin himself knows the mystical runes whereby he can make himself invisible?"
Fonte: "Damn it!"
Odin: "Look... I don't mind if you know it's me. I just want to appeal to all loyal Norsemen to do whatever they can to stop Xena from getting into Valhalla and stealing the Golden Apples!"Nigel: "Why does she want to steal the Golden Apples?"Odin: "So she can become a god! Look, she will return Ares to Olympus who will in exchange make her his queen."
Nigel: "But, surely, Ares and Xena have an adversarial history."
Odin: "You'd buy that, wouldn't you? Did you ever stop and think why Xena didn't kill Ares when she had the chance, huh? It's because she has a thing for him. She's always had a thing for him. So, Xena's going to be a god, or a goddess, or whatever. Well, it's not gonna happen! You stay away from Valhalla or you know what's going to happen to you! You'll never be a god, Xena!"



Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] "It seems that we are witnessing as epic struggle here. On one hand, Odin and his precious Golden Apples, and on the other, Xena seemingly determined to possess them for herself. But why?"

[Nella foresta, Nigel si avvicina a Gabrielle che si sta lavando mezza nuda.]
Nigel: "Gabrielle! Gabrielle, can you tell me if there is a sexual relationship going on between Ares and Xena?"Gabrielle: "What are you doing here?!" [Inizia a colpirlo con uno straccio.]Nigel: "Is Xena Ares' love slave?" [Gabrielle lo fa finire con la faccia nella palta.]

Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] "But there was one other person who could shed some light on the twisted, co-dependent relationship between the Warrior Princess and the God of War." [Si avvicina alla fattoria e bussa alla porta.]
Ares: "Go away! ... I said, get lost!"
Nigel: "There is definitely someone in there. I'm going to keep trying."
Ares: "What do you want?! I'm busy!" [Apre la porta con un boccale di birra in mano.]
Nigel: "Are you Ares the former God of War?"
Ares: "Who wants to know?"
Nigel: "We're here asking a few questions about Xena. Why does she want to steal the Golden Apples?"Ares: "I got nothing to say about Xena."
Nigel: "Odin believes it's because she wants to restore you to Olympus."
Ares: "That'd be damn nice. As you can see, I haven't exactly got the hang of this whole mortal gig. But let me make it straight -- Xena owes me nothing."
Nigel: "According to Odin, you and she have cut a deal whereby she will reign by your side as your queen."
Ares: "Ha! Xena's had plenty of opportunities to be my queen. Frankly, the job doesn't interest her."
Nigel: "Have you spoken with Xena recently?"
Ares: "Listen, buddy, I wasn't the only god sent down from Olympus, so why are you bugging me?"
Nigel: "Are you saying there are other gods who survived Xena's attack?"
Xena: [Da un altra stanza.] "Yo, Ares!"
Nigel: "Who's that? Can I... I think we should go in there." [Entra nella fattoria.]
Ares: "Hey! This is private property!"
Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] "Follow me... [Si guarda in giro.] Check it out."Ares: "Alright, ya happy? You see what the God of War has come to? Well, have a good look. Laugh it up!"Xena: [Entra nella stanza.] "Ares, what's the... You! What are you doing here?"
Nigel: "Xena, I was right. You and Ares are plotting together."
Xena: "Stay out of my business, Nigel."
Nigel: "Xena, are you in love with Ares?"
Ares: "Alright, that's it. Get out! [Butta fuori Nigel.] Get the Hell out! You're animals! Scavengers! Get out of here!" [La telecamera si oscura.]

Paradiso
Archangel Michael:Nigel: "Do you think Odin has anything to fear from Xena?"Michael: "Let me put it this way, if it were my tail feathers on the line, I wouldn't trust Xena."
Nigel: "That's not a very charitable attitude coming from an angel."
Michael: "Archangel."
Nigel: "Archangel, sorry. Surely, as an archangel you are a creature of light, ethereal and pure. Isn't it your job to believe in the essential goodness of man?"
Michael: "Please, we help mankind to achieve goodness, but we're not stupid. Mankind has free will and Xena, she exercises hers with abandon."
Nigel: "Would you care to give us an example?"
Michael: "She puts her own self-interests ahead of the Greater Good. Did you know she risked unleashing Hell on earth to protect her own daughter?"
Nigel: "But, surely, she prevented that by killing Mephistopheles on earth."
Michael: "And by doing that, she fated herself to take his place in Hell... Get this... she cast one our own, Archangel Lucifer, down into Hell to take her place."
Nigel: "Xena corrupted an angel?"Michael: "Archangel! And if she's capable of doing that, into seducing an archangel into assuming the throne of Hell, you tell me... who wouldn't she be willing to screw over?"Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] "Who indeed?" [Cade dalla nuvola su cui era seduto e finisce negli abissi dell'inferno.]

Nigel: [Si alza in piedi e guarda la telecamera.] "Hello. I'm here, in Hell, and I'm about to do what no other reporter has ever done. I'm going to interview Lucifer... Excuse me, sir! Sir, um, horned one, is it true that you are the Prince of Darkness?"
Lucifer: "What are you?"
Nigel: "Please, try not to avoid the question. The public want the truth, a portrait of the real demon behind the myth."
Lucifer: "The real demon?"
Nigel: "Please, try not to cover anything up."
Lucifer: "Cover anything up? I'm the Devil, you idiot! I'm really bad. I'm evil incarnate. What do I have to cover up?"
Nigel: "Right, you have a point there."
Lucifer: "What are you doing here, anyway? Are you one of mine?"
Nigel: "No! No, no, no, no. I'm part of a journalistic investigation, an investigation of Xena."
Lucifer: "Xena! You dare mention her name in my kingdom?!"
Nigel: "So, you're not a fan of the Warrior Princess?"
Lucifer: "Let me ask you something? Do I look like a guy who enjoys his present position? Do you think I asked for this gig? I used to be an archangel on the way up, and then she came along."
Nigel: "So, you're confirming the report that Xena, in order to avoid her own responsibilities in Hell, fooled an archangel into assuming the throne of the Underworld?"
Lucifer: "She'll defend herself saying my pride and ambition brought me down, but I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her lies and deceit."
Nigel: "Then you believe the word of Xena isn't to be trusted?"
Lucifer: "She's a lying sack! How I wish I could get her down here, mete out some serious everlasting punishment."
Nigel: "Well, that's not an impossible dream. Given Xena's exploits on earth, I'm sure that she's bought herself a one-way ticket to Hell."
Lucifer: "I wish. All her do-gooding, I'm afraid she's escaped my wrath."
Nigel: "In a sense, you're defending her character, which is what Satan would do, try to defend one of his own demons on earth."
Lucifer: "You're a real pain. I can't wait to get you down here."
Nigel: "Uh, with respect, sir, that's not going to happen. I'm not a murdering warlord. No, no, no. I'm an award winning investigative journalist. I'm a member of the fifth estate."
Lucifer: "Like I said, I can't wait to get my claws into you."
Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] "And so, we conclude a rather disturbing interview with the Prince of Darkness."

Nigel: [Raggiunge un gruppo di persone che stanno pregando nella foresta.] "There she is. Follow me... Excuse me, are you Eve?"Eve: "Do you wish to join our prayer circle?"Nigel: "No, no today, thanks. I'd like to ask you a couple of questions about your mother, Xena."
Eve: "Whatever you wish to know, my mother can answer for herself."
Nigel: "It's just a few questions. Is Xena trying to make herself into a god?"
Eve: "There is only one god, the god of Eli. He teaches us to walk the path of love."
Nigel: "I see, and does your mother walk the path of love?"
Eve: "My mother respects our faith. She would do nothing to offend it."
Nigel: "Not even for Ares?"
Eve: "What about Ares?"
Nigel: "Xena wants to restore him to Olympus. She's cut a deal to rule with him by his side."
Eve: "The time of the many gods has passed."
Nigel: "Then why is Xena trying to steal the Golden Apples? And why is she shacked up with Ares? Did you know that? That's the same Ares that killed Eli while your mother stood by and did nothing."
Eve: "You want to know about my mother? [Gli da uno spintone.] I will tell you about my mother, you little sh*t! If my mother is with Ares, you can bet she's got a pretty f*cking good reason!"
Nigel: "Are you still jealous that Ares was obsessed with your mother the entire time he was sleeping with you?"
Eve: [Viene seguita dai suoi seguaci.] "You f*cking brat! Stay the Hell away from my mother! You stay the f*ck away from me or I will kick your f*cking ass!"
Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] "Not the kind of words you would expect to hear from Eve, the Messenger of Eli... Whatever happened to walking the path of light, Eve?"Eve: "F*ck off!"
Nigel: "You want your mother on Olympus, don't you? You want to see the God of War put back on his throne so Xena and Ares can continue your bloody ménage à trois... [Viene gettato a terra dalla Messaggera di Eli. Alla telecamera.] Tell me you got that. You got that, didn't you?"

Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] "A shocking display from the Messenger of Eli, but not as shocking, perhaps, coming from the daughter of Xena. For Xena provokes strong emotions for those who cross her path... feelings of intense fear and hatred among her enemies, and equally intense feelings of loyalty among her friends. It is perhaps this loyalty which brings the person sitting opposite me this evening in to the studio."
Gabrielle -- Xena's Sidekick:Nigel: "Gabrielle, thank you for talking to us."Gabrielle: "Well, you're welcome, but don't thank me. I'm here to tell you that you're wrong about Xena."
Nigel: "Wrong in what way?"
Gabrielle: "In every way. Xena... you know, you make it sound like Ares and Xena have this conspiracy to try to rule the world."
Nigel: "But they don't?"
Gabrielle: "No. Xena wants to save the world. That's why she needs the Golden Apples."
Nigel: "And I suppose that Ares wants to save the world also?"
Gabrielle: "It's hard to explain, he--"
Nigel: "Well, maybe it's not so hard to explain, Gabrielle. Maybe it's quite simple. Maybe it's not Xena's lust for war that drives her, but Xena's lust for the God of War."
Gabrielle: "What?! Xena doesn't lust after Ares."
Nigel: "Gabrielle, kindly direct your attention to the monitor." [Su un televisore appaiono immagini di Xena e Ares.]
Gabrielle: "So they have a history. It doesn't mean anything."
Nigel: "Gabrielle, isn't it possible you are confused about your own feelings for Xena?"
Gabrielle: "By my feelings for Xena?"
Nigel: "Come on, Gabrielle. I know that Xena is more to you than just a friend."
Gabrielle: "Oh, okay, you're right. She's my best friend."
Nigel: "Well, what would you say, Gabrielle, if I told you that not too long ago I found your 'friend' Xena in a tumble-down little love-shack at the edge of town in the arms of Ares?"
Gabrielle: "I..."
Nigel: "How do your feel about that, Gabrielle?"
Gabrielle: "I don't know how I feel."
Nigel: "Tell us all the truth. You and Xena are lovers, aren't you? Or should I say, you were lovers until you were replaced by Ares. Gabrielle?"Gabrielle: "I..."Nigel: "Gabrielle, are you in love with Xena?"Gabrielle: "I don't love Xena."

Nigel: "Wait... You mean, you don't love Xena?"
Camera Man: "Hey! This is a closed set!"
Xena: [Entra nello studio.] "Closed set my butt! Get out of my way!"
Xena: "Gabrielle."Gabrielle: "Xena, I was just trying to stop him from telling lies about you."Xena: "I know. Let's go."
Nigel: "No, wait. Wait! Xena, are you in love with Gabrielle?"Xena: "You got some pair on you, mister."Nigel: "Hey, I'm just trying to do my job."Xena: "And I'm just trying to do mine!" [Usa il "tocco" su Nigel.]
Xena: "If you've done your research, you'll know that I've just cut off the flow of blood to your brain. You got thirty seconds to listen to what I have to say. Understand?"
Nigel: "..."
Xena: "You want to know if I love Gabrielle. Well, let me ask you a question. Do you love anybody? Do you love your wife? Do you love your dog? Do you love your self? Is there anyone in this world that you love with all your heart? There isn't, is there? Because, you can't love. None of us can. The world has lost the greatest gift the gods ever gave us, and I'm gonna get it back. That's your story... [Annulla il "tocco".] You hear me, Odin?! I'm coming for ya!"

Gabrielle: [Cammina fuori dallo studio.] "So, what's the plan?"
Xena: "I'm going after Odin."
Gabrielle: "There's got to be more to it than that."
Xena: "Why do you do that?"Gabrielle: "Do what?"Xena: "Ask me to spell out the plan! You'd think after all these years you could maybe join the dots yourself."Gabrielle: "Why do I have to drag it out of you? You know, I wish I knew the 'pinch'. I would force you to share you're little plan with me."
Xena: "No, no, no. You can take the 'pinch' off, but you're not allowed to put the 'pinch' on."
Gabrielle: "I'm not allowed? Oh, that's right. I'm the sidekick. You go ahead, Xena, I'll walk ten paces behind your horse."
Xena: "You could walk beside my horse."
Gabrielle: "That's really big of you, Xena!"
Xena: "Gabrielle, stop it. What's going on? This isn't us."Gabrielle: "We're saying things that people who love each other would never say."Xena: "Yeah. We've got to get Love back into the world, Gabrielle, and fast."Gabrielle: "Right. So what's the plan?"

Taverna nordica
Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] "A world without Love... a world where the skills of the delicious goddess no longer lift us to heights of almost intolerable pleasure. Well, anything is possible. But, surely... [Un gruppo di prostitute cercano di portarselo via.] Excuse me, excuse me, I'm trying to report here... The truth is... [Cerca di allontanare le donne.] ... thank you... that both Xena and Ares are plotting... thank you! ... both Xena and Ares are plotting to divert this reporter from getting to the truth. So, we've decided... excuse me, excuse me, that's it, hands, hands, hands... [Riesce a liberarsi delle prostitute.] ...so we've decided to come to the one place where love is rarely in short supply."
Madam: "Take a number... Did you take a number? Can you count?"
Nigel: "Excuse, me... Excuse me, over here!"
Madam: "Alright, I know you're there... Now, you go after him."
Nigel: "Hi there, I wonder if we might have word."
Madam: "Well, what will it be tonight? We're running a little special on a little number we call Thor's Hammer, or for a little bit extra, you could get the Ride of the Valkyrie."
Nigel: "Ride of the Valkyrie? That' sounds... Well, uh, business seems to be booming here."
Madam: "Well, look around. My boys know where to come to dock their longboats, if you catch my drift."
Nigel: "So, you would say that there's been no sudden shortage of love in the world?"
Madam: "Oh, I didn't say that, now."
Nigel: "You did say business was booming."
Madam: "My business has never been about love. If these boys were looking for love, they'd be wooing their sweethearts or at home with their wives. The less love I have to deal with, the fatter my purse."
Nigel: "Interesting."
Madam: "Calling number 27! One Thor's Hammer! We'll make you feel like the God of Thunder!"
Ares: "27! Yo, I got 27!"
Nigel: "Ares, the former God of War!"Ares: "No, I'm not... crap!" [Esce dalla taverna.]Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] "We found Ares, the former God of War, half naked and stinking of booze in a bordello."Ares: "I'm trying to get laid! I'm not a criminal!"

Una grotta
Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] "As news of our investigation has spread, we've been contacted by a source who claims to have some answers."Donna: "Halt! Come no further."
Nigel: "The source... [Vede una donna con un mantello nero e un cappuccio.] Who are you?"
Donna: "That's not important, but what I have to tell you is. You're following the wrong story."
Nigel: "What do you mean?"
Donna: "Xena's trying to put a god back on Olympus, alright, but not the one you think."
Nigel: "But... which god?"
Donna: "You'll have to find that out for yourself."
Donna: "I am in great danger. If Odin discovers I have betrayed him..."
Nigel: "Alright, here's what I'll do, I'll mention each god by name and then I will count five seconds. If within that period you fail to respond, I'll assume the answer is yes. Understand?"
Donna: "Five seconds... what?"
Nigel: "Okay, I'm counting. Hades... one hippopotamus... two hippopotamus... three hippopotamus... four--"
Donna: "Forget it! I don't have time for this."
Nigel: "Wait! If Xena and Ares aren't conspiring, what are they doing together?"
Donna: "This isn't about Xena and Ares. Xena will play whatever card she needs to get what she desires."
Nigel: "What if she desires to be a goddess?"
Donna: "Fool! Xena doesn't want to rule the world. She wants to save it."
Nigel: "How can you be so sure?"
Donna: "Because she saved me."
Nigel: "Wait! Where do I go from here?"
Donna: "Follow the Love."
Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] "Follow... the Love. Hmm."

Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] "Follow the Love. A bizarre command in a world seemingly devoid of love... yet something has brought these desperate people to this place... [Si avvicina a una folla che circonda una donna vestita di rosa.] ...in the hope that here they will find whatever is missing in their lives. They, too, are responding to the unspoken command to follow the Love."
Nigel: "Excuse me, excuse me, can I get through here, please? Media here. Media... Excuse me... Thank you... May I ask you a few questions?"
Aphrodite: "I said keep your mortal meat hooks... Oh, my! What's this?"Nigel: "Aphrodite."Aphrodite: "Hello, there... [Allontana da lei un mortale.] ...Hey, get off!"
Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] "I'm here with Aphrodite, the former Goddess of Love... Aphrodite, forgive me, but didn't you completely lose your mind after what happened with Caligula?"Aphrodite: "Oh, yeah, I did. But Xena helped pull me out of my madness and gave me back my life... if you can call this earthbound existence living... destined to grow old and wrinkled... and saggy."
Nigel: "Aphrodite, these people, what are they all doing here?"Aphrodite: "Can you see this?"Nigel: "What?"Aphrodite: "This line. How can you not see it? My face looks like a Roman road map."Nigel: "Well, I can really hardly see--"Aphrodite: "You can see it!"
Nigel: "No, no, uh... Aphrodite, these people, what is it they want?"
Aphrodite: "Oh, well, when I left Olympus, the world was full of my love, but with me no longer there to replenish it, it's just faded away, squandered by those who failed to see how precious it was and spurned by others who thought they didn't nee it. Now it's all gone. Poof."
Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] "Poof, indeed... But, how could we not have noticed?"
Aphrodite: "You mortals take love for granted. It slipped through your fingers so subtly no one even noticed it was gone, except for these few who are still drawn to me for the last breath of love that still clings to me. But, soon there won't even be that."
Nigel: "Aphrodite, is there nothing that you can do?"
Aphrodite: "As a mortal, no. My powers are tied to Olympus, and there is no way for me to get back there. Xena made sure of that."
Nigel: "Xena."

Nigel: [Ai piedi del Valhalla.] "Gabrielle, where's Xena?"
Gabrielle: "What are you doing here? Aphrodite, it's good to see you."
Nigel: "Where's Xena?"
Gabrielle: "Will you get lost!"
Nigel: "Look, where is she? I've got to talk to her."
Gabrielle: "You just missed her."
Beowulf: "She's gone in to face Odin."Nigel: "Is she going to kill him?"Gabrielle: "Xena doesn't have the power to kill gods, not anymore... but Odin can kill her." [Delle luci escono dal Valhalla mentre Xena e Odin combattono.]


Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] "We're here before the walls of Valhalla. Xena entered just minutes ago. You can hear the sounds of an epic struggle as Xena, possibly the greatest human warrior in the history of the world, battles with Odin, King of the Norse gods."
Aphrodite: "Gabrielle, I have to say I'm glad to see you're still traveling with Xena. I was afraid with me away from Olympus you two may not be so close."Gabrielle: "No, we're partners."
Nigel: [Alla telecamera.] "Xena is attempting to wrestle the Golden Apples from Odin, but the question still remains... should she succeed in getting these apples, on whom will she bestow the gift of godhood? ...Wait! Something appears to be happening inside Valhalla."
Beowulf: "The day may be decided."
Xena: [Fa scendere Odin dal Valhalla davanti a lei.] "Down there... hurry up!"
Gabrielle: "Xena, are you alright?!"
Xena: [Con le mele d'oro in mano.] "Couldn't be better!"
Beowulf: "Incredible. You have beaten Odin."
Xena: "Don't rub his nose in it."
Xena: "You know, you could have saved yourself a world of trouble if you just had coughed up the fruit in the first place."Odin: "My pain is almost over. Eat! Then you can destroy me and your victory will be complete."Xena: "We gotta move on."
Nigel: "Xena! Xena... you're not gonna eat that apple are you?"
Xena: "Why ever not?"
Nigel: "Because you don't plan to install yourself as a goddess on Olympus. No, your plan is to bring Love back into the world. That apple is for Aphrodite, isn't it?"
Xena: "Give this apple to Aphrodite and bring Love back into the world? That's a novel and very unselfish idea. No, it's not something the Xena you know would do."
Nigel: "Well, maybe before, I was reporting on the wrong Xena, Xena."Xena: "Maybe."Ares: "And, maybe not."
Nigel: "Ares! Xena, no! You can't send Ares back to Olympus!"Xena: "Now he's telling em what I can't do. I think I can." [Ares da' un morso ad una mela.]Ares: "It's juicy. Oh, here it comes. Alright. Yeah!" [Prova i suoi poteri lanciando delle sfere infuocate.]
Nigel: "I knew it! You were in this for yourself all along."
Odin: "Of course she was, you moron. Who wouldn't want to be a god?"
Ares: "Who wouldn't want to be a god? [Avvicina la mela alla bocca di Xena.] Go ahead. Tastes good."
Gabrielle: "Don't"
Ares: "Hey, there's nothing for you here."
Ares: "You know, the weasel had a good idea... become a goddess, we could have some kicks."Xena: "I wouldn't want you to be alone on Olympus."Gabrielle: "Xena, don't."Xena: "Aphrodite will keep you company."Aphrodite: "Thank you, Xena."
[Aphrodite morde la mela d'oro e da' un significato al termine "l'amore è nell'aria".]
Beowulf: "It really is good to see you again, Gabrielle."
Gabrielle: "You've got that gleam in your eye again, Beowulf."
Aphrodite: "Shall we leave these mortal to their business, Ares?"
Ares: [A Xena.] "Aphrodite gave you back the power to love. Think about it, Xena. Think about the possibilities."
Xena: "Odin... [Gli ridà le mele.] ...keep these someplace safe."
Ares: "I guess you know I'll never stop trying."
Xena: "I'd expect nothing less."
Aphrodite: "Come on, let's go home."
Odin: "Xena, I've been preparing for your arrival for weeks. How did you breach our defenses?"
Xena: "I cheated."
Odin: "What?"
Xena: "I had a little help from a friend." [La misteriosa fonte dal mantello scuro si rivela essere...]
Odin: "Grinhilda!"

Grinhilda -- Valkyrie:
Grinhilda: "Xena saved me, you know. She changed me back from the horrible creature I'd become."
Nigel: "This would be the horrible creature that she turned you into in the first place."
Grinhilda: "That was a different Xena, the dark, evil Xena. But the real Xena restored my human form and returned me to Valhalla, and she asked me to unmake the legacy of bloodshed she herself had left for Odin's people."Nigel: "When Ares was expelled from Mount Olympus, that must have made your job a lot easier. Why did Xena send him back?"
Xena: "You know why? Because you can't have Love without Hate. You can't have violence and you certainly can't have forgiveness without anger. I knew I just couldn't send Aphrodite back to Olympus without Ares. It would have thrown the whole world out of balance."
Grinhilda: "It is my people's lust for living that makes us who we are, the two competing forces of their fierceness and passion that define us. Xena knew that. So, I sent you after Aphrodite while I rounded up Ares."
Nigel: "You sent me after Aphrodite?"
Grinhilda: " 'Follow the Love.'"
Nigel: "You're the mysterious voice in the cave."
Grinhilda: "Xena wanted you out of her hair for a while. She figured she might as well put you to work getting Aphrodite for her. I have to go. Odin's still pretty sore at me."

Eve: "We're heartily sorry for our behavior. It isn't in our teachings. We wandered from our path of Love."
Nigel: "But you're back on that path now?"
Eve: "Yes. We're here to atone for the sins that we committed against you."
Nigel: "That really isn't necessary. What are you doing? What are these?"
Eve: [Con una frusta in mano.] "You may flagellate us for the sins that we committed against you."Nigel: "No, no, no. That's alright."Eve: "We insist."Nigel: "No, really, you don't have to--"Eve: "Do it!"

Ares: "Do I think she did it because of how she feels about me? No. I mean, don't get me wrong, there were sparks. You could see that, right? No, she pretty much did it for the same reason she always does -- redeeming herself, her evil past, 'oh, I killed so many people,' the pain, the pain. But my offer, it was genuine. There's a place for her here... [Si guarda in giro.] It's not what it used to be though... Okay, chuckles, let's cut it! Okay? Out of here... Do not make me zap you!"

Nigel: "Gabrielle, Xena... I have only one more question left. The question that Gabrielle has been avoiding all evening. The question that has never been answered. Are you two lovers?"Xena: "You're asking if--"Nigel: "That's right. I'm asking, are you two lovers?"Xena: "That's none of your beeswax, Nigel."Gabrielle: "Okay, Xena, you know, you just risked everything to bring love back into the world."Xena: "So what?"Gabrielle: "I think you should answer the question."Xena: "You do, do you?"Gabrielle: "Yeah." Nigel: "Wait! Hold it! [Alla telecamera.] And now, ladies and gentlemen, a world exclusive -- for the first time anywhere, Xena and Gabrielle reveal the true nature of their relationship... Gabrielle, Xena, are you two lovers?"Xena: "You want the truth?"Nigel: "That's right, Xena, we want the truth. The whole world wants the truth."Xena: "It's like this, technically--" [La telecamera inizia a spegnersi.]

STAND BY
Nigel: "What?! It's dead?! The battery! This is the world's greatest story and you're telling me the battery is dead?! I don't believe this! Oh, man!"