Trascrizione in inglese dei dialoghi dell'episodio:

Send in the clones

Episodio: n. 16

Sesta serie

(si ringrazia Xenamedia e Cristina Creek)

[In un vecchio cimitero nebbioso due macchine si fermano. Una donna esce da una Pontiac Firebird rossa. Un uomo con una valigia esce da un'altra macchina.]
Alexis: [Osservando il contenuto della valigetta.] "2000 year old hair samples perfectly preserved. [Consegna all'uomo il denaro.] It's all there."

Alti: "What's it gonna be, Xena?"
Xena: "Alright, you win. You give me my child's soul, and I will take you back to my world."
Alti: "Tsk-tsk. First, you take me back, then you get your child."
Xena: "The ritual's already begun. All you have to do is take my hand."
Alti: "I knew you'd see things my way."
[Xena si risveglia nel suo regno. Le ossa di Alti si rianimano.]
Alti: "Now, the real fun starts." -- Them Bones, Them Bones
Polly: "You know? I just loved everything about this episode."Lea: "Yeah, that's a good one. We should definitely include that. You know, it's important we have clips that strongly represent Xena's enemies."Mack: "Shouldn't we have some more Joxer stuff?" [Il telefono inizia a suonare.]
Polly: [...e suonare.] "You're kidding, aren't you?" [...e suonare]
Lea: "Will someone get that phone?"
Mack: "Hello."
Alexis: "It's Alexis."
Mack: "It's her... Yes, Alexis?"
Alexis: "Phase one is complete. Have you compiled the clips?"
Mack: "They're almost done."
Alexis: "They need to be on digital disks. When we transfer there can't be any dropping of--"
Mack: "Alexis, this is my field. I'm a computer nerd, remember? I know what I'm doing."
Alexis: "Do you have a balanced selection?"
Mack: "Personally, I'd like to see more Joxer stuff."
Alexis: "Look, any disagreements will be settled by Lea. She's working with us because of her knowledge of psychological profiles. You'll defer to her."
Mack: "Alright."
Alexis: "And the rest of the team, has it come together? Do you have Dr. Polly?"
Mack: "Yes."
Alexis: "Great. Three of you meet me here in 72 hours."
Mack: "Okey-dokey."

[I tre Xeniti entrano nel laboratorio.]
Lea: "Well, did it work?!"Mack: "Please, tell us what we want to hear, Alexis!"Polly: "The DNA in the hair, was it--"Alexis: "Everything we hoped for. Maturation acceleration worked beyond my wildest dreams. See for yourselves."
[Alexis aziona un bottone che mette in posizione verticale le capsule contenenti i cloni di Xena e Gabrielle.] Lea: "I'm gonna cry."Polly: "Awesome."Mack: "Cool."

Alexis: "Physically, the clones are complete. Now we just need to use the clips to bring them to life." Lea: "So, your man in Macedonia really came through, huh?"Alexis: "He promised me two strands of hair from the Tomb of the Scrolls... [Allontana Lea da Gabrielle] ...he delivered. My carbon testing shows the hairs to be between two and three thousand years old."
Polly: "Two ancient Mycenaean heroes alive in the 21st century. From here on, the world will be a better place."Alexis: "If we can wake them successfully. Right now, they're just clones of the originals. Xena and Gabrielle's memories and personalities are dormant."Mack: "Yeah, but they're great to look at just the way they are."
Lea: "Don't be a male cliché. You telling me you're excited by looking at lifeless female forms that have no mind or personality?"Mack: "Yeah."Alexis: "The disks?"Mack: "Oh, sure. I gotta be honest with you, though, Gab fan here loaded this first one up pretty heavily with Gabrielle stuff."
Polly: "Yeah, you'd think all they did was sit around at baths and campfires emoting."Lea: "I included other things, but I feel very strongly that Gabrielle is the most important relationship in Xena's life." Mack: "If you start talking about subtext, I'm gonna barf."
Polly: "We're not bringing her back to life to counsel the lovelorn. She's gotta be able to kick ass!" [I tre Xeniti iniziano a litigare.]Alexis: "Uh, we'll settle this later. Polly, could you prepare the clones for download, please?"Polly: "Okay."
Polly: "All set."Lea: "Let's start with the official video salute to Gabrielle to the tune of Bette Midler's `Wind Beneath My Wings.'"Mack: "Whoa, they need a wake-up call, not sleep aids."Alexis: "Let's start with Polly's selection."Lea: "But, Gabrielle is more important than Xena's fighting skills."Alexis: "In the overall picture, sure, but she's a warrior, first and foremost. Use Polly's selection..."
[Xena combatte in Chakram.]
Polly: [Entusiasmata dalle mosse di Xena.] "Pow! Whoo-hoo! Hoo!"

Xena: "Give it your best shot." [Combatte contro Livia.] -- Eve
[Athena lancia delle sfere d'energia contro Xena.] -- Motherhood
Lea: "Oh, she looked so dangerous in this..."

[Xena combatte contro i persiani.] -- One Against an Army
Mack: "That one, I loved that one..."

[Lucifer ha momentaneamente la meglio su Xena.] -- Heart of Darkness
Lea: "That's not a stunt double, that one..."

Xena: "Your kingdom awaits!" [Getta Lucifer nell'inferno.] -- Heart of Darkness
Polly: "They're not responding. No R.E.M. no synaptic or adrenal reactions."
Polly: "All set."Lea: "Let's start with the official video salute to Gabrielle to the tune of Bette Midler's `Wind Beneath My Wings.'"Mack: "Whoa, they need a wake-up call, not sleep aids."Alexis: "Let's start with Polly's selection."Lea: "But, Gabrielle is more important than Xena's fighting skills."Alexis: "In the overall picture, sure, but she's a warrior, first and foremost. Use Polly's selection..."
Mack: [Alexis ferma il filmato.] "Hey what'd you stop it for? That was rocking."Lea: "She needs a dose of Gabby. That'll jump-start her heart."Mack: "Heart, schmart. Maybe we're going all about this the wrong way. Maybe we need a more hands-on approach... [Si avvicina a Xena.] What about a bit of cardiac massage?"Lea: "He could be right... [Si avvicina a Gabrielle.] ...Or, mouth-to-mouth."Polly: "Maybe what you two need is a bucket of cold water... or your asses kicked."
Lea: "Think about the fun they had together, the baths they shared."
Mack: "If you're talking about their 'special' relationship, I'm into that."
Alexis: "Uh, you know what? I think that's it for today. If we download too much, they could go crazy."
Polly: "When they wake up, they'll need clothes. I ordered their costumes from the catalog. I'll bring them in tomorrow."
Lea: "I can't wait to dress them!"

[Più tardi quella notte, una persona misteriosa entra nel laboratorio e inserisce nel computer un cd nominato "Evil Xena."]

Xena: "You'll be dead in thirty seconds. But know this, you won't be the last. Tell Hades to prepare himself. A new Xena is born tonight, with a new purpose in life... death." -- Destiny
[Xena uccide le amazzoni.] -- Adventures in the Sin Trade
Xena: "I say... kill'em all!" -- The Debt
Xena: "Put her on the cross... Break her legs." -- Armageddon Now, Part 2



Lea: "I know Gabrielle was always a fast learner... [Vede che Mack ha appena finito di tagliare i capelli di Gabrielle.] Oh, no! You cut her hair! I wanted her to have long hair, like classic Gabby!"Mack: "Only in the reruns, Babe." Mack: "That's strange."Alexis: "What?"Mack: "There's a download in here that I didn't do. Let's have a look at it... I didn't compile those images."Alexis: "Those are all 'Evil Xena' images. Somebody must've gotten into the computer after we left. How did that happen?" Polly: "Her life signs have elevated. Something's had an effect."Mack: "They're gonna wake up soon. We better get them ready."Lea: "Yeah, but which Xena's going to wake up? The power hungry warrior motivated only by blood lust and hate?"Alexis: [A Mack.] "I would, uh, get my hands off of her boobs." Lea: "This is serious. If Xena's been watching that tape all night, she could've suffered deep trauma. I'm telling you, we should feed both her and Gabrielle my Gabby tapes to repair the damage."Alexis: "Yes, the Gabrielle tapes are essential now."Mack: "Okay, bringing up Gabrielle footage..."
Gabrielle: "Take me with you. I want so much to be like you."
Xena: "And I want to be like you." -- One Against an Army
Gabrielle: "Eli, I failed my first test."
Eli: "It's hard, the way of love. It may not be right for you. But if you choose to follow it, you must do so with all your heart. You'll fail more than once. But don't give up hope. In the end, it will redeem the world."
Xena: "I'm sorry I took you so far from your truth."
Gabrielle: "Don't be sorry. Xena, do you think I could have understood the power of selfless love, if it weren't for our friendship?" -- The Way
Polly: "Enough with the lovey-dovey crap! You're putting them back to sleep."Lea: "I actually agree with you. Even Gabrielle herself needs a sense of her mission. Download Polly's Gabrielle selection."Mack: "Loading Gabby's action footage..."
[Gabrielle uccide molti romani in The Ides of March.]
Polly: "That's more like it."
Alexis: "We need more positive input into Xena to counteract those evil images, a scene showing the consequences of her dark past. Bring up that one..."
Xena: "Some call me the Warrior Princess. Some call me murderer. Many years ago, there was a village called Cirra. It was a village just like yours, small and prosperous, full of life... until a day that my army came... until the day that I came and destroyed it. Under my orders, my men, they sacked the village, burned the houses and killed every living thing. Everything was destroyed including the soul of one young, innocent girl who will never be able to reclaim her childhood, and will never know what the Fates had planned for her if not for me." -- A Necessary Evil
Polly: "I wonder if that was such a good idea. Seeing Callisto again will only make her blood boil."Lea: "A campfire scene... we need a nice campfire scene with Gabby, like the one from Series 2, Ep. 11, just before the 2nd Act break."Mack: "The campfire scene in that episode was in the teaser."Polly: "It was not!"
Alexis: "Come on, guys. Could we give it a break?"Lea: "Besides, the classic was Series 4, Episode 7, when she does that poignant little insight into her character. She's taking her boots off as she sits by the campfire--"Mack & Polly: "She kept her boots on!"
[Occupato a litigare, il gruppo non nota che Xena si è svegliata finchè il chakram inizia a volare da tutte le parti. Xena riprende il chakram che si spezza in due. Confusa, si avvicna a Mack ed usa il tocco paralizzante su di lui.]
Xena: "I've just shut off the flow of blood to your brain. You'll be dead in 30 seconds unless you tell me what's going on."



Alexis: "All right, everybody, stay calm."Mack: "I... I gotta be honest with you, I'm not calm."Gabrielle: [Si risveglia.] "Xena?"Xena: "Gabrielle..."
Xena: "Alright, you'd better start talking."
Alexis: "We've reproduced you exactly as you existed 2000 years ago. It's a process called cloning. Welcome to the future."
Mack: [Guarda il suo orologio.] "Come on."
Gabrielle: "Xena, shouldn't you take the pinch off him?" [Xena annulla il tocco a Mack.]
Lea: "Um, how much do you remember?"
Mack: "She remembers the pinch pretty good. Hey... I just got pinched by Xena!"
Gabrielle: "Did Ares do this?"
Alexis: "No, a higher power called science."
Xena: "Why have you brought us here?"
Lea: "Because we need heroes, now more than ever. Look... [Mostra molte scene di terrorismo, violenza e altro.] ...these are the kind of things that happen in our world every day... violence... civil unrest... crime... it's everywhere, and it's getting worse all the time."
Polly: "We need someone to go out there and kick butt."
Xena: "You got the right girl for that."
Mack: "She can kick my butt any day."
Lea: "We were hoping you would kick butt for Good."
Mack: "Oh, it'd be good."
Xena: "We're hungry. Got any food?"
Lea: "Yes." [Prende una scatola di ciambelle.]
Mack: "They're sort of like chakram, but you can eat 'em."
Lea: "Sugar and fat."
Polly: "They're delicious."

[Il gruppetto è seduto a guardare delle scene del telefilm.]

Gabrielle: "The loving friends we meet on our journey return to us time after time. We never die, because we were never really born." - [scene di Sins of the Past, A Good Day, Lost Mariner, e A Day in the Life.]
Polly: [Pensa.] "Xena could kick Jackie Chan's ass. Jet Li, no contest. If Bruce Lee were to come back from his grave, Xena'd kick his ass, too."
Mack: [Pensa.] "Oh, man, they're hot, and you know, after 2000 years, they've gotta be horny. I see them looking at me, and there's no competition. I'm gonna be their first 21st century man."
Lea: [Pensa.] "The others almost ruined everything with their macho discs. I know, after lights out, I'll play them a full season of old 'Ellen' episodes. Yeah."
Xena: [Si vede baciare Gabrielle in Return of Callisto.] "Alright."
Xena: [Si vede baciare Gabrielle in Return of the Valkyrie.] "That's not how it happened. I woke you up before I went to Valhalla, right?"
Gabrielle: "That's how I remember it. You're right."
Polly: "Wow, your memories are of the real Xena and Gabrielle, not just the ones we programmed you with."
Lea: "Yeah, that was the plan, to stimulate their... [Guarda Gabrielle.] ...latent memories."
Mack: "So, what do you guys think of the show?"
Xena: "I like the one who plays me. She's kinda sexy."
Gabrielle: "What about this writing, Xena? I mean, it's not exactly Euripides. They've taken liberties with my scrolls."
Xena: "Yeah, and what are they trying to say about our relationship, anyway?"
Gabrielle: "Who knows."
Mack: "Xena, um... you know, uh... you and Ares, uh... did you, um, ever... you know... well..."
Xena: "Get a life, pervert."
Gabrielle: "Now, now, Xena."
Xena: "Alright, Gabrielle, what's next?"
Gabrielle: "Well, look, they want heroes, right? We find a mission. We do some good."
Xena: "That old Greater Good thing? I don't know. It kinda doesn't appeal this time around... [Indica un punto sulla veste di Gabrielle.] ...you got some sugar and fat."
Gabrielle: [Viene copita sul naso.] "Hey!"
Xena: "I always wanted to do that. Oh, and, uh, Gabrielle, if that pork starts talking back to ya, they've got a whole room back here designed for the whole purpose of relieving yourself."
Gabrielle: "A whole room?"
Alexis: "Gabrielle, um... can I speak frankly with you?"
Gabrielle: "Yeah."
Alexis: "I'm a little concerned that we may have woken up the Evil Xena."
Gabrielle: "Is that what's wrong with her?"
Alexis: [Al gruppo di Xeniti.] "Why don't you guys take care of Xena, and I'm gonna get Gabrielle up to speed." [Si mettono a guardare altre scene del telefilm.]

Gabrielle: [Fuori dal laboratorio.] "Wow. It's so big."
Alexis: "Yeah, it sure has changed, huh? [Alla polizia.] This is her. She broke into the lab dressed as some kind of television character. I think she's a bit of a loony."
Gabrielle: "What is going on?"
Poliziotta: "Miss, some identification?"
Gabrielle: "What?"
Poliziotta: "Look, if you're not gonna cooperate, lady, I'm afraid we're just gonna have to take you in."
Gabrielle: "Wait a minute. I don't know what ridiculous story she told you, but for your information, she cloned me from a strand of hair she found 2000 years ago."
Poliziotta: "All right, she's a loon. Let's take her... [Gabrielle estrae i sai.] Drop your weapons."
Alexis: "I'd do what they say, Sweetie. You saw what those weapons can do in the videos we showed you."


Joxer: "You wanna fight, huh? Fine with me. Ow!" -- Callisto
Joxer: "Ooh! Ooh!" -- Back in the Bottle
Joxer: "Gotcha now! … Oof!"
Gabrielle: "Hopeless."
Joxer: That does it! I'm gonna rip you apart with my bare hands!" -- Callisto
Mack: "Do you think that's an accurate characterization of Joxer?"
Xena: "Yeah, pretty much. I don't remember him being that smart, though."
Alexis: "Xena, I am so sorry, but Gabrielle has been arrested."
Lea: "How can that happen?"
Alexis: "There was nothing that I could do. The police-- "
Xena: "What's 'police'?"
Alexis: "The local warlords, they confiscated her sais and then they took her."
Xena: "Took her where?"
Alexis: "To the city jail, out the front door, to the left, two miles down the road."
Xena: "Right."
Mack: "Are you insane? You're encouraging her!"
Alexis: "Xena, wait! You might need this."
Xena: "My chakram... the real thing."
Alexis: "Yes, it is."
Xena: "Got it." [Corre alla ricerca di Gabrielle.]
Lea: "Have you lost your mind?! You just set her on a course that'll bring her into direct conflict with the authorities."
Polly: "And where did you get that chakram?"
Mack: "You know, I'm beginning to think there are a few things you haven't told us."
Alexis: "Yes... a few."
Polly, Mack & Lea: "Alti? Alti."

Mack: "But why?"
Alti: "Well, I've spent countless incarnations enjoying the fact that Xena's reputation as a do-gooder was lost for an eternity. After she died, I hid the scrolls. And I thought I could just sit back and enjoy the unchecked evolution of evil on Earth. It's really hit a few high points in the last century. But then, this hideous TV show starts celebrating her as a defender of righteousness. Well, we'll see how long that reputation lasts."
Breaking News …
Sandy Radford: "Reports are flooding in of a reign of terror sweeping through the downtown area. A woman dressed like the television character, Xena, Warrior Princess, has broken into the city jail and freed another woman dressed as Gabrielle, the Warrior Princess' sidekick..."
Lea: "She's plenty more than just a sidekick."
Polly: "Would you give that stuff a rest?"
Sandy Radford: "...witness are shaken."
Bob Eastwick, Corrections Officer: "We got concussions. We got broken bones. We got blood on the floor. Crazy chick. She's got the strangest damn round weapon, kind of like a Frisbee."
Sandy Radford: "The public is warned that this woman is armed and highly dangerous, and should not be approached under any circumstances..."
Alti: "I couldn't have written it better myself."
Lea: "You cloned an evil Xena to discredit her."
Alti: "Oh, you catch on fast."
Sandy Radford: "...Eyewitnesses describe her leaping from car to car leading to high speed collisions and multiple pile-ups..."
Alti: "Xena wasn't always an angel in the early days, but she gets 22 episodes of a TV show, and everyone thinks she's a great hero. Well, they'll soon know the real truth."
Sandy Radford: "... Swat teams have been mobilized..."
Alti: "Once she's alienated herself from everything good and decent, she'll follow me, and together we'll rule the world... Let's go."
Polly: [Corre fuori dalla porta.] "Why didn't you try to stop her?!"
Mack: "You stop her."
Sandy Radford: "...lawlessness."
Edwin B. Stalter, Animal Enthusiast: "Okay, well, um, I was just like, watching my giraffes and, like, Xena turns up, and it's her, it's f*cking her! There's cops all over the place, you know, and Xena's just like 'Ho-ha!' and then she's like 'Ha!'. She totally f*cking deals with the heat, man. Then she jumps over the fence, lands on the back of this crazy-ass, like, horse, and she's f*cking gone. It was awesome, man. Xena's, like, hot, too, you know."

Gabrielle: [A Xena che sta costruendo un'arma.] "What is that?!"
Xena: "What?!"
Gabrielle: "What are you doing?!"
Xena: "I'm making me some new weapons. [Prende in mano una 9mm.] These things are hopeless in hand-to-hand combat... [Spara accidentalmente.] ...see what I mean? And these? [Prende una spada deformata.] ...merely toys."
Gabrielle: "Xena, you could have killed someone at the city dungeon."
Xena: "They had you locked up. What did you want to do, rot there the rest of your life?"
Gabrielle: "You know, we can't just walk--"
Xena: "If they want trouble, they're gonna get it."
[Alti e i suoi ostaggi arrivano sulla Firebird rossa.]
Alti: "I hear you've been busy, Xena."
Xena: "Alti"
Alti: "I missed your fire, your fury."
Gabrielle: "Don't listen to her."
Alti: "Remember what we used to have, Xena?"

Alti: "Help me, and I'll make you the Destroyer of Nations."
Xena: [Dopo aver ucciso le amazzoni.] "Alright, I delivered."
Alti: "You did, indeed." -- Adventures in the Sin Trade
Alti: "I am the Destroyer of Nations." -- Past Imperfect
Alti: "Remember the thrill of conquest you had, hm? Before she came into your life..."

[Xena combatte contro alcune Valchirie in groppa a cavalli volanti in The Rhinegold.]
Gabrielle: "Don't listen to her."
Alti: "Doesn't her little voice remind you of her betrayal?"

Gabrielle: "I'm sorry, Xena. I couldn't let you do this." -- The Debt
Alti: "...What her lies did to your son."
Xena: "My son..."

Xena: "Solon?...Solon? ...Hey, hey, Solon ...Solon."
Gabrielle: "Xena? ...No ...No ...No."
Xena: "Get out."
Gabrielle: "Xena..."
Xena: "Go! ...Solon ...Solon, please. I'm here, now. Your mama's here now, just like you always wanted." -- Maternal Instincts
Alti: "...and how much you enjoyed avenging that deed, huh?"

Xena: [Appena dopo aver trascinato Gabrielle.] "Vengeance!" -- The Bitter Suite
Xena: "Why did you bring her back?"
Alti: "Well, consider her my gift to you, Xena." [Spinge Gabrielle verso di lei.]
Gabrielle: "Xena... Xena, you weren't like this in the end. Think of what we accomplished. Think of the good that we did for the world..."

[Xena salva alcuni bambini da morte sicura in Past Imperfect e Amphipolis Under Siege.]
Xena: "Gabrielle..."
Gabrielle: "...Xena, the good that we did for each other."

Gabrielle: "After all we've been through? I am with you till the end." -- Sacrifice
Xena: "When I reach down inside myself and do things that I'm not capable of, it's because of you." -- One Against an Army
Xena: "You talk about trying to find your way, but to me, you are my way." -- Family Affair
Xena: "I'm sorry for all the times I didn't treat you right."
Gabrielle: "Xena, you've brought out the best in me. You saved me, Xena." -- Ides of March
Gabrielle: "I'm a part of you. I want it to be like that forever. I love you." -- The Abyss
Xena: "You are the best thing that ever happened to me. You gave my life meaning and joy. You will be a part of me forever." -- Sacrifice
[Xena attacca Alti. Alti entra nella Firebird e segue Xena.]
Xena: "For an old bird, you sure move fast."
[Xena riesce a tirare fuori dalla macchina Alti. Nel frattempo un filo elettrico tocca la macchina.]
Alti: "Nice move, Xena. You'll make a great sidekick."
Xena: "I'll give you `sidekick'." - [Xena usa il chakram per tagliare una catena che tiene una macchina sopra la testa di Alti. Alti viene schiacciata.]
Alti: [Non è ancora morta.] "Nice work, Xena. Haven't lost your touch."
Polly: [Vede il suo idolo che viene picchiato.] "Runt!"
Gabrielle: "Wait! No!"
Polly: "Now you'll have to deal with me." [Viene subito stesa.]
[Xena e Alti continuano a combattere. Xena ha la meglio e getta Alti sull'auto che è a contatto col cavo elettrico. Alti viene arrostita. Una scia di benzina si infiamma e si avvicina a dei barili contenenti materiale infiammabile che si trovano vicino a Gabrielle e agli Xeniti.]
Xena: "Run! Come on! Let's go! Now!"
[Xena e Gabrielle aiutano i tre Xeniti a fuggire ma non c'è più tempo per loro di mettersi in salvo. Le due guerriere si abbracciano ed esplode tutto.]

Polly: "There was nothing left of them."
Lea: "I guess clones just break up easy."
Mack: "Well, maybe it was for the best. I mean, we were messing with nature."
Lea: "Are you kidding? We had the greatest heroes in history here, and now they're gone."
Polly: "You know, to be honest, I was a bit disappointed anyway. I mean, they just seemed to be so much more dynamic on TV."
Lea: "On TV, yeah."
Polly: "Yeah."
[Un taxi supera i Xeniti. Sul taxi ci sono due donne simili a Xena e Gabrielle che si bevono un bicchiere di champagne.]
Mack: "Hey, do you guys think they're gonna believe us at the conventions?"
Lea: "Are you kidding?"
Polly: "Not a chance."
Mack: "Hey, we could do someone else. You know, I've got some of Dr. Spock's toenails at home from when I was a Trekkie?"
Lea: "You were a Trekkie?"
Mack: "Yeah."
Lea: "You really are a nerd."
Mack: "Hey, I'm not proud of it, okay?"